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From WCCO: Two young children who wanted to sing along with Barney the Dinosaur instead uncovered a surprise when they opened their music book — a photograph of a man and woman in a naked embrace. … (snip) “They want some sort of apology and maybe reassurance for the children that Barney is pure,” Arnold [...]

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If you pick your nose a lot at work, don’t try and be slick and use a pen. They’ll still know what you’re doing.

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So I’m sure all of us have heard by now that the Raelian Religious Cult has claimed to have cloned a human. Or at least funded it. Bah, big deal, I’ve been going through my own cloning procedure since I was 15 years old. It involves a long large probe that inserts a small bit [...]

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A friend of mine who shall remain nameless, in corroboration with other friends of his, were set loose on a hapless recording studio a week or so ago. With undoubtedly alcohol as some portion of the inspiration, they decided to do a song honoring the holiday season. I figured an apt audience for a song [...]

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There’s been something I’ve been wrestling with for a couple of weeks now. I don’t know how often other people think of it — as far as I can remember, it’s never really come up in casual, or even, now that I think about it, formal conversation. But, call me crazy, there seems to be [...]

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Strange email conversation I’ve been having over the last few days: From: N*l*y*c*i*a*1*@aol.com Sent: Wednesday, December 18, 2002 6:22 PM To: clme@penismightier.com Subject: (no subject) um yea, what the hell is up wit ur website? From: clme@penismightier.com Subject: (no subject) What is up as in there is something wrong with it, or you what is [...]

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When I woke up this morning, I was somewhat disturbed to find that my home had been broken into. One window was forced open, and a muddy partial bootprint on the windowsill told my Sherlock Holmesian forebrain that the intruder must have burgled me during the night. The odd thing is, I couldn’t find anything [...]

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Hithere hi there hi there!@ I would like to review one of the fine products they sell on the Thinkgeek website which is here which they cll the SHOWER SHOCK CAFFEINATED SOAP. Well sar I am sorry to report that this product does not work, no sir it doesn ot! I received this CAFFEINATED SOAP [...]

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Here’s an amusing waste of time I ganked from some loser. Go read it, asshat.

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I was walking to Subway on my lunch break and playing some action bowling game on my cellphone when I fucking stepped in a dead raccoon. My first reaction is to yell “Damn George Bush!!?. I stop and look down and noticed I fucking missed my 7-10 split. Fucking crazy ass rioting animals.. I kicked [...]

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