penismightier.com

I went down into my basement to do my laundry today and found my landlord going through some old boxes of stuff previous tenants had left behind. After I had put in my clothes I went over and talked to him for a few minutes, during which he asked me about a few of the items he had dug out.

Landlord:“Hey Chris, whats that bottle of green stuff” I looked at the bottle and found it was an aloe-vera gel with lidocaine in it. Me: “It numbs your skin while it moisturizes it” Landlord: “Oh… is that something you’d use on an erection?” Me: “…” *What the hell?* Landlord: “You know… to last longer”? Me: “Um… I’m not letting that stuff anywhere near there.” *Oh hell. I need a topic change fast.* Landlord: “Oh, there used to be this guy I worked with… I forget what he used, but that stuff STUNG LIKE HELL let me tell you”. *Searching for topic change. Looking around basement for inspiration.* Me: “So, what are you going to do with those old textbooks?” *Topic change initiated. Mission successful.*

I dont even want to think about where that conversation was going.