penismightier.com

So I gotta say this wisdom teeth thing is for the birds.

While all the cool kids were able to go hang gliding the next day after getting their wisdom teeth removed. I on the other hand swelled up like a fat bastard. My face like the elephant man, unable to close my mouth, I sit on the couch drooling blood and food on myself. Night after night of sleeping sitting upright and cursing the fact that digital cable at 4am has nothing but infomercials on all of the damn channels. Good news is the swelling is pretty much gone (1 week later) but a new surprise. My face and neck is bruised all to hell.

Anyways when people at work ask what happened, I just tell em I got in a brawl last weekend. I then cock my head to the side, spit and eye em real good. Real good like. And you know, I haven’t had to help anyone at all this week.