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I walked into the board room today to remove some videos I was watching on the presentation computer (don’t you worry about what I watch in the board room, you just go back to your cube) and when I picked up the mouse my hand got all wet. Then I look over and see some guy standing in the room? WTF? Since when did I say it was ok to spill some fucking big gulp all over the place? So I pulled out my sock of nickels and started just beating the shit out of this guy. I mean I’m really letting him have it. When he covers his head I stop, and he thinks the shit is over and lowers his hands and looks up at me and then I just fucking lay into him again. The whole time I was hollering for the frontdesk “Who is this tubby bitch? Am I just standing here beating the fucking tar out of him?”. Then some of the other office staff comes in and stands around watching me beat the fuck out of this guy while he crawls for the door. “This ain’t no fucking boatshow folks!” then I look over at the small group that has gathered and say “You guys born in a fucking barn? Close the fucking door!”. That’s when these fuck heads wake the fuck up. Jim from accounting fucking closes the door, Now we are talking.

“Stop beating the fuck out of me.” he whines. Whatever. Loser. So I said “Oh I didn’t know you didn’t like that, you should of said something 10 minutes ago dude”. So I pick up the damn crazy mouse which is wet and take the batteries out. Huh, what do you know, the batteries were leaking. Turns out that guy was there to give a presentation. The nerve a presentation in my drinking room.