penismightier.com

I enjoy customer service stories for some reason. I think the suffering of others makes my time in the service industry seem much more bearable.

Recently someone (doomy) posted a rant in the message boards about someone that was able to use google, but apparently couldn’t actually read. Her story follows:

D. N. S., of Murdock, FL is in dire need of his birth certificate! However, the necessary application form is not in his sweaty little palms, and his attempts at searching the internet prove fruitless! Whatever shall our intrepid hero do? Why, fire off an acerbic letter to the State of of his birth, of course!
“Please send me a Birth Certificate Application Form. I have enclosed a SASE, per the directions on your web site.

Incidentally, the Federal Government does this far more efficiently. All forms are available on line, for copying. This saves both the applicant and the State the cost of mailing this request, and the cost of returning the form to the applicant. Also the lag time involved is considerably shortened. I estimate it will be about two weeks from the time I mail this, until I actually have the form in my hot little hands. For a change the Feds did something right, and I think it would behoove us to emulate them.

Thank you,
D. N. S.”

Seething with rage at his inability to locate a birth certificate application online, he marches down to his local post office unit and throws it into the mailbox! A few days later it is received by his archnemesis, CASSY, Keying Temp of Destiny, who reads his letter, rolls her eyes, and with a mighty “HARRRRR” folds an application and inserts it into the SASE. But this response is not worthy enough for our hero Mr. S.! Miss Cassy dares to Google the State Vital Records website, and locates the longlost application online in a matter of FIVE CLICKS, in a quite obvious spot on the “How do I apply?” page! The corners of her mouth upturned in the smirk of the righteous, she removes the envelope from the SASE, scribbles the URL on the back of the application, and returns it to its SASE-atorial destination. She then seals the envelope and drops it in the outgoing mailbox, to be mailed out to Mr. S. exactly 20 minutes after she received it. Lag time, indeed!

If you have your own customer service story you would like to share, please email me here with the topic “Customer Service Story”, or post it on our message board.