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Entries from October 2005

Covering Dubyas Ass

October 30th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

Help the esteemed leader of the free world cover his ass… with other people’s asses! The rules are simple: Take a picture of your ass. (No copyrighted images, please) Resize that picture so its less than 500k. (I’ll adjust the size further to fit the picture, but I only have limited email space). Find a [...]

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Tags: Archive

Aborting the sock babies.

October 30th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

So I was chatting today with someone and the subject of pheromones came up. I was being told that semen contains pheromones that are supposed to turn on women. This doesn’t make logical sense to me. It would seem to me that by the time the semen is out where the pheromone can be taken [...]

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Tags: Archive

Homeless Mayhem

October 28th, 2005 by Josh · No Comments

Benefits from renting to homeless junkies: An endless supply of shopping carts inside, and outside of your building! Eggs, cheese, ham, and various other food stored in the light fixtures, and vents. Needles, Needles, and more Needles!  (Even flushed in the toilets!) Piss in the dryers!  (Nothing like switching from Bounce to urine!) Bum fights [...]

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Tags: Archive

Daring to Plunge into Mediocrity.

October 28th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

A PenIsMightier Public Service Announcement: If for some reason you manage to talk someone into letting you borrow THEIR plunger, please please please rinse it out completely before you return it. Please. Remember: They may not be using it on a toilet next, even though thats what you borrowed it for. Dear god. The horror. [...]

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Tags: Archive

I Just Got the Internet Yesterday.

October 19th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

Here are a bunch of links I stole from the PenIsMightier Forum. I apologize for not giving credit for who I stole them from. “Yeah I know this pi shit backwards and forwards” Beard Olympics Science Projects Unicorns L.A. The House in the Middle I also apologize for the lack of pornography in most of [...]

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Tags: Archive

Handfasting does not mean starving your hand.

October 19th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

Over the years I have discovered several ‘rules’ about marriage that I have to remember when I visit elderly relatives and small-minded assholes. I have compiled these ‘rules’ into a simple list so that those of you with aging, racist relatives can fake a conversation long enough to not get written out of the will. [...]

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Tags: Archive · Redneck Roots

Scarred for life.

October 19th, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

As I was shaving this morning I cut myself and was suddenly hit with a horrible flashback. That lasted about 3 minutes. Then I was reminded of a shaving related incident from my past… The incident occured back in 1996, when I was well into my career at a grocery store. The store had a [...]

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Tags: Archive

A typical game of telephone

October 11th, 2005 by Weis · No Comments

Bush to Condi: But they can’t indict Turd Blossom and the Hammer! That’d be like throwin’ a big old stinkbomb right in my face! Condi to Rummy: The President’s right, these allegations against Rove and DeLay are like a timebomb waiting to go off. Rummy to Cheney: We’re trying to keep these bombs from exploding [...]

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Tags: Archive

A royal flush beats a pair of jacks.

October 2nd, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

Its seems that an abnormally high number of my posts have to do with issues encountered while removing bodily waste from my body. Please note that I said “issues while removing bodily waste from my body” and not “issues with removing bodily waste from my body. Anyway… While waiting in line to use the urinal [...]

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Tags: Archive

Serenity.

October 2nd, 2005 by Clme · No Comments

and now for the PenIsMightier review of the movie “Serenity”: Goddamn that was good. I damn near creamed my pants while watching the movie, and am going to see it again. I haven’t been that excited about a movie since I discovered pornography. Go see it. That was the PenIsMightier review of the movie “Serenity”. [...]

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Tags: Archive