penismightier.com

Ever since Colorado Representative Jim Welker stated that legalizing gay marriage was just a step towards also allowing interspecies marriage I’ve had hope. Why is that, you ask? Well, its for the benefit of Mightymon, you see. He’s always wanted to marry a goat. I’m all for legalizing gay marriage if it will eventually allow Mightymon to fulfill his lifelong dreams. For years I’ve…er.. he’s hidden this secret fetish for the hooved, and being the concerned friend that I am I figured it would be easier for all involved if he would just confess his true feelings. I’ve done exclusive research on the subject (entirely for his benefit, of course) and have come across several interesting websites that should help us when the time arrives. Although my…mightymon’s love for goats may never be legally embraced, the Wiccan community understands us, and is there to help. One enterprising Wiccan has even published rituals for handfasting with a horse. This ritual can be quickly modified for another species, such as a goat with downy hair and perfectly groomed hooves. In fact, the ritual will even work if said goat left someone else in a moment of weakness because Mightymon walks around with a pocket full of carrots. Even if years of trying unsuccesfully to have ‘kids’ left the relationship strained. Even if sex became routine and eating tin cans started to sound more appealing. TRAMP! Thats right! Those aren’t even your real horns are they? Hah! Begone with you and your fancy new collar and your imported sweet marsh hay. You’re just playing with me now. I’m seeing other goats you unfaithful dog! *sniff*