penismightier.com

A few days ago I was priveledged enough to sit in a den of sickness and inequity known as a hospital waiting room.

As though that weren’t fun enough on its own, I got to sit near a very loud and obese man, a dazed and confused obese woman, and their 3 year old child. The obese man had a laptop with him, and was playing Rammstein and some video game theme songs on speakers that had no base. He got into a debate with the kids across from him about which game a certain song came from, saying such things as “no, this is too upbeat to come from smash brothers” until I would yell out “For Gods sake its the original Zelda themesong” and get glared at.

While this was going on the three year old would occasionally escape from his parents grasp and run to the crayon table to color pictures. The couple would then yell at him, and the mother would spend 10 seconds trying to stand up so she could bring him back to their seats.

After a half hour of this she said to the man “its your turn” and he set down his laptop to grabbed the three year old. He immediately took the three year olds pants off and proceeded to change the his diaper right on the chair, without laying down even a blanket as a barrier. Of course, within ten feet of them was a bathroom. On the door of the bathroom were the words ‘baby changing station inside’. I guess it was too far to walk.

The smell reminded me of a retirement home.

While the diaper was off, the child stood up and started to crouch above the diaper, and started to take a shit right on top of it. I looked away at this point, and noticed that the entire waiting room was watching this debacle unfold.

Then the parents both spent ten minutes debating about wether or not a rash on the kids penis was getting any better and grabbed some passing nurses to ask their opinion of it. Finally the nurses asked if the rash was why they were there and convinced them to wait for the doctors opinion. Then the nurse disposed of the diaper for them.

Throughout this ordeal it was all I could to to keep myself from saying something that would start an altercation. Parents of small children tend to be overprotective of their habits, and trying to express dismay at an action of theirs is like trying to remove a bear cub from its mother while backed into a corner. Still, sometimes you just have to do it anyway… Just make sure they’re not still holding a stinky diaper when you do so.

On the bright side, maybe someone took the security camera feed from the waiting room and made some money selling it on the internet.

On a related note, I saw a woman a few months ago changing a kids diaper on a McDonalds table (again not far from the baby changing station). She was doing this on a table only about ten feet away from me, and as a result of the smell and the thoughts going through my head I couldn’t finish my food. A McDonalds employee told her off and asked her to leave and so as ‘punishment’ the woman left the dirty diaper sitting on the table. At least I think it was punishment. She probably would have left the damn thing anyway.

I suppose it was already a bad sign that she was trying to feed a small child McDonalds food.

I hate you all. Also, nurses dont get paid enough.