Its time for masturbatory roleplaying! Its like roleplaying with a sexual partner, but without the dressing up or the sex. Story Three: Helping those that love themselves.
Its a cool, dreary afternoon and you’re trying to decide between taking a walk or having a self-discovery session. Seeing as how your significant other is out for the day (and you never cared for the cold) you decide to drop trou and settle in for a good long wank. You take your time about it. Find your inner pervert. Savor the moment, if you will. Suddenly, your ministrations are interrupted by a knock at your window. You sit still in hopes that they will go away… but moments later you hear a pounding at your back door. I know, I know… you were just getting into what you were doing. In fact, you were hoping you’d be able to go back to doing that soon. In your mind the only difference between now and five minutes ago is that you want to finish quickly so you can go online and make a ‘pounding at your back door’ joke to everyone on your buddy list. The person at the door doesn’t see it that way though, because the next thing you know your door is being kicked in and a complete stranger walks into the room. He looks around for a moment, and then he see’s you sitting on your bed. The reaction he gives leads you to believe that he wasn’t pounding on the windows/doors to get a better view. Without saying a word he turns around and walked out of the house. You take a look at the door, and notice that the lock was not broken at all. The frame of the door just splintered and shredded, and the door will not close properly at all. Now you believe you have reason to worry about your safety and call the cops and the building maintenance guy, in that order. The cops arrive and soon catch a suspect that matches the description you gave, but you cant verify his identity for sure so they let him go. The maintenance guy’s girlfriend answers the phone when you call, but based on how rude and annoyed she was by the call you suspect that the maintenance man wont be arriving until a weekday afternoon. Its time to invest in a barricade bucko! Pull out that heavy furniture and get it in front of that door!
The question I never had answered is this: What does one tell the police that he was doing when the man broke into his house? I hate it when I get a backdoor infection.