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A few days ago I found out that people I knew believed in the “End-Times” movement. Now, I had suspicions for quite some time that it was becoming mainstream, but I found out that it was even more prevalent than I had previously thought. If you aren’t familiar with the End-Times movement, its basically a theory that the Apocalypse will be brought about by man within the our lifetime (or that of our children). Many followers of End-Times theology believe that it is the duty of Americans (read:Christians) to consume as much as possible in order to help bring these times about. The fact that most of these ‘consumers’ are living comfortably in large air conditioned houses and not helping out their fellow Christians that barely make it living paycheck to paycheck escapes their irony detectors. These people are also part of the 29% that still support President Bush and his policies in Iraq. Not because the policies are working… but because of the religion of the people we’re screwing over. Another mark of End-Times theology (although definitely not limited to them) is a tendency to turn scientific discussion about global climate change into a political blame game rather than looking for solutions. Basically, if you cant prove exactly how much that coal power plant contributes to global climate change then its not contributing! Not only that, but the real fault must lay with the coal plants in Europe or the Chinese. Showing proof wont help either… it has to pass through Rush Limbaugh’s fact checkers, and they get their news directly from God. The fact that these people still have the nerve to bring children into the world and teach them that they are helping bring about the end of the world fills me with sadness. The fact that I cant even call these groups a cult because they’re a major part of organized religion concerns me as well. As some of you know, I’ve accused President Bush of being an End-Times believer himself. Hell, I’ve even accused President Bush of being the Antichrist foretold in End-Time prophecies. But I have since refined my theories about the Commander in Chief… Basically, I now believe that the President is one of the few people in history that liked the movie “Waterworld” and he’s trying to make it happen for real. As far as the parts of the world that will still have land masses: He wants those to turn into Thunderdome’s Bartertown. The catch is he wants to replace MasterBlaster with his Halliburton friends. On the bright side, Dubai is only 16 ft above sea level. DROWN YOU SONS OF BITCHES DROWN. MWUAHAHAHAHAHA. *cough* Oh yeah. Click on this picture: (thanks bill)