penismightier.com

INTERDEPARTMENT MEMORANDUM PiM, LLC. 123 Saftey Scissors Lane Portland, OR 97201 TO: Pen Employee Mailing List FROM: TheOnyx RE: State of the Company Fellow Penites:      The board meeting today was very fruitful. Many things were discussed, and I can say with certainty that the coming days will be very exciting days for our fair company. To keep you all abreast (or a boobie, if you will) of the current state of affairs, I will include a summary of the meeting minutes below.

• We’re Not Gonna Take It
  • Should we continue to take it?
  • Vote Results: No! (1 to 12, 2 abstained)
  • Summary: We ain’t gonna take it
    • anymore
• eod Sexual Harassment Lawsuit
  • Billy Jean not his lover
    • Just a girl who says that he is The One.
  • Child is not his son.
  • Lawsuit dropped. Investigation closed.
• Department of R & The D
  • You don’t always have to fuck her hard
    • Fact: Not right to do on occasion
  • Alternatives
    • Make Some Love
    • Give Her Smooches Too
    • Fuck Softly
    • Screw Gently
    • Hump Sweetly
    • Ball Discreetly
  • New Corporate Motto: That’s fucking teamwork!
• Marketing Campaign, 3rd Quarter
  • Send an ES OH ES to The World
    • Twice
    • Use new program, codename: BOT-L
  • New Corporate Initiative: Meet Three Times a Week, discuss how we feel about whether or not Message was received.
• Shipment Vendor
  • Dropping UPS
  • New Vendor?
    • FedEx
    • DHL
  • Discussion
    • Jimbo
      • Ex gon’ give it to ya
        • Fuck wait for you to get it on your own
      • Ex gon’ deliver to ya
    • Clme had concerns about shipping cake via FedEx
    • Jimbo assured that, with FedEx, the yeast would be so fresh that it’d remind us of Krat’s Momma
    • Clme withdrew objection.
  • Tabled until research could be done Re: DHL

     As always, if you have any questions, feel free to notify any of the board members. We value your opinion, and help I am trapped in a software development company that generates template statements for electronic mail and press releases. Sincerely, TheOnyx Chief Officer of Awesome