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I’ve been noticing a distinct lack of drama in the pen forums as of late.

Oh, dont get me wrong. The efforts that several of you have been taking have been commendable, and under different circumstances probably would have resulted in days of fodder for our drama-hungry synapses. But something is missing. There is so little personal hate, and very little frothing-at-the-mouth posting occurring.

Come on pen. You can do better. Take the internet too seriously! Reveal who has been sleeping with who! Call out another pen for hitting on my girlfriend! Accuse all the prospective (and current) parents reading of being failures and tell them that they will never raise their children correctly! Post pictures of someone without their permission! Accuse a southern poster of being ignorant just because of where they live!

Goddamnit, I need DRAMA. HIT ME AGAIN. RIGHT THERE! RIGHT IN THE EGO. CARRY MY MANHOOD IN YOUR PURSE AS A TROPHY! YES! YES!

…

Sorry about that. I think I may have a problem. I better leave now. Just tell your sister I had to run, but I still need her to email me those pictures.