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I have to thank all of those that participated in the Help Dubya Cover His Ass! project. However, ultimately it turned out to be a failure. With two weeks left until the election I just cant see any way that we can get enough asses to cover Bush. So, with that said I am now [...]

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I was visiting some friends in Missouri recently, and the topic of my northern colloquialisms came up. Specifically, someone had issues with calling a carbonated beverage “pop”. So started a long winded conversation about “Soda”, “Pop”, and “Coke” across the country. Everyone has had these conversations, so I cant say that I lent anything new [...]

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Throughout the years I have had thousands of Instant Message conversations and gotten a lot of email from Pen readers. It turns out that a lot of you are smart and intelligent people that absolutely did not find this website while looking for penis lengthening aides. Many of you have provided me with stories about [...]

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Sup?

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People constantly amaze me. Apparently there is a blog out there devoted to nothing but depictions of men being punched, kicked, or otherwise injured in the groin. NadShot.com I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a fetish site, a humor site, or if someone just really likes making me uncomfortable. Thats right, me [...]

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http://improbable.com/ig/ How else would you honor the confirmation that coke is an excellent spermicide?

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I asked some of the pen forum posters to post items that they thought should go on the Pen mainpage (the glorious site you are currently reading). I was surprised when almost every post after that contained a link. So… without further ado, I give you the links the pen forum thinks are linkworthy. All [...]

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I had a bit of trouble finding out why a computer I was working on this week kept overheating. The processor fan wasn’t too clogged up, and other than a light coating of tar from cigarette smoke it wasn’t too hard to blow out and wipe clean. Then I took off the front, where most [...]

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On Friday at work I was cleaning up and refurbishing an old laptop so I could give it to a new employee when I accidentally broke a piece off of the crappy little heatsink inside. The remaining chunk of heatsink wouldn’t stay put on its own, so I reached in my pocket, pulled out a [...]

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Its time for yet another episode of Masturbatory Roleplaying! The game where everybody loses, even when they win!. Story Five:Web-Cam Truth or Dare. Imagine that you’re a voyeur. Or don’t imagine. You are. We all know it. We forgive you. Now give me back my underwear and re-mulch the area under the windows. Anyway… since [...]

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