Throughout the years I have had thousands of Instant Message conversations and gotten a lot of email from Pen readers.
It turns out that a lot of you are smart and intelligent people that absolutely did not find this website while looking for penis lengthening aides. Many of you have provided me with stories about other parts of your world, full of sick habits and amusing antics. When I cant come up with any original material of my own, I turn to those words.
So, its time once more for Masturbatory Roleplaying! The game where everything is fake except the shame and lack of fulfillment!
A penny for
your thoughts my picture?
Imagine you’re a young man attending a large mid-western college. Though you live in a dorm and have a fairly active social life you’ve confined yourself to your dorm room since you don’t feel well.
At some point you decide to start up your computer and try out a free trial of EverQuest your roommate left you. Before you install the game, you load up your Instant Messenger and check to see if any of your friends are online. You see a few, and do a quick check to see if any are using chat rooms. You see one, a a friends girlfriend from a nearby dorm, and you join the chat. For the first few minutes you just lurk in the background to see what the discussion is about.
Unfortunately, you find yourself rapidly regretting joining since the topic is not one you’re comfortable with. Your friend is discussing taking digital photos of herself naked, and is emailing them to anyone that asks. You’re slightly creeped out, but you don’t leave the chat. Some sort of morbid curiosity is driving you to continue reading the compliments and pleas for more photos from the strangers in the chat.
After about five minutes, you receive a private Instant Message from your friend.
DormChick1: how come U R not asking for pictures?
You: Well, I just don’t feel comfortable in that situation. I know you IRL and that seems like it would change things.
DormChick1: what, dont I look nice 2 you?
You: Look, I just don’t feel right taking pictures from you. You’re dating someone in my dorm, you know?
DormChick1: well, how about if U paid me for pictures? Then it would be a business transaction and U wouldn’t have to feel guilty!
You: How would that help me feel less guilty?
DormChick1: well, I figure if U just give me five dollars next time you see me that we can call it even! no guilt because its purely a business transaction!
You: Look, I’ve never had to pay for porn before.
DormChick1: This wouldn’t be porn.
You: Is this hush money? You dont want me to tell your boyfriend that you were trading pictures with strange men in a chat room do you?
DormChick1: Well, what were you doing in that chat room?
You: I’m done with this conversation. Goodbye.
For the next several days you are constantly bombarded with emails from this woman. In several of the emails she attaches pictures of herself with the plea “Look, now you have pictures and didn’t pay me”. You feel dirty. It doesn’t stop you from rubbing one out to the pictures though. Damn those were hot.
Do you tell your friend? Do you save the pictures? Do you rant about it to a guy you barely know in IM? Yes to all of the above!
But the question remains… why didn’t I ask for copies of these pictures when you were telling me this story? Damn. Hindsight is 20/20.