So I started to think about children. Not having children, just about children in general.
Then I started to think about cats. I’m not sure why.
I’m always hearing things on the news about feral cats. The stories tend to revolve around feral cats killing desirable birds and wildlife, carrying disease, or getting into fights with domesticated cats. Normally the stories end with a phone number or a link to an animal shelter website.
There has even been legislation passed to make the hunting of feral cats legal in many states! Another popular alternative a sterilize-and-release program. Most areas have one of these available, although they tend to be at odds with local animal shelters since some of the sterilized animals still suffer from reduced lifespan common to feral cats or end up in the system again. Practices such as cutting off the tip of one ear help animal control and potential do-gooders recognize that the animal has been through a system before.
Strangely enough, I don’t hear very much on the news about feral children
I’m of the opinion that feral children cause at least as much damage as feral cats, if not more.
Feral children have never been properly domesticated. They dont attend school, they hurt the local wildlife, they hiss and bite when approached, breed unrestrained, and die young. In addition to that, they dont listen to any forms of authority other than their own made-up social structure, and much like crows, steal food and shiny things from property around them. They tend to develop their own language full of hand signals and posing, although then can make themselves understood by adults (by gesturing) when they need to.
It is possible for feral children to be born to two domesticated parents. Domesticated parents often end up with feral children through neglect and lack of socialization. Once a child has become feral it can take significant work to domesticate them again, and the subject may revert itself if not handled with care.
There is an overrun of feral children in my neighborhood. I’m proposing a sterilize-and-release program for them similar to the one run for feral cats. Perhaps then the neighborhood children wouldn’t throw rocks at my dog after she lets me know that one of them is stealing my neighbors bicycle (again). They wouldn’t be casing the house across the street at 1pm on a school day and threaten me because I’m not minding my own business in ‘their’ neighborhood. They wouldn’t be eating McDonalds value meals using money they stole from car ashtrays. They wouldn’t be stealing the copper tubing from my back neighbors dilapidated central air unit. They wouldn’t congregate in groups of ten to fifteen and stand in the middle of a street blocking traffic for fun.
After they are neutered (or spayed) then we need to make sure they are tagged and leash trained. If it works for dogs, and it works for parolees, then it should work on our children!
Join the movement! Spay and Neuter feral children today! If all else fails at least kick the male children in the balls as hard as you can… maybe it will be good enough.