penismightier.com

You know what I miss? Ransom notes made out of words cut from magazines. Clme eats whores!

In this age of email, laser printers, and text messages kidnappers just dont have to expend as much effort in their demands any longer. Its relatively simple for them to just log on to to some public computer and send a message from the victims hotmail account. If they are really lazy they can just send a text message from the victims phone. That’s hardly a challenge at all.

Its the death of an art form! There was something special about a kidnapper that would take the time to scour through their old issues of Playboy or Boy’s Life to find letters or words that matched their message. In fact, the magazines they picked were part of the art form! We’re not talking some bullshit modern art thing like that old goldfish in a blender shtick. We’re talking a real devotion to their craft.

Besides, it really makes me look old fashioned to all the other kidnappers out there.