penismightier.com

In honor of the holidays I’m recycling a post from 2005…

Some of my extended family has a problem with lifestyle choices I’ve made in the past.

Most notably, they have a problem with the fact that I haven’t knocked some girl up yet. They dont seem to have any problem with the fact that I’m not married, and in fact they dont even bother mentioning that anymore. They just bring up constantly the fact that I dont have kids.

This became glaringly obvious to me a few days ago when several of my aunts were over to visit and plan for Thanksgiving/Christmas parties. I kept hearing pieces of some of their conversations that made it sound like they were setting someone up. Then I had the following conversation:

Me: So, what dish should I bring to pass on Thanksgiving then?
Aunt: Oh, just bring your sperm.
Me: *long pause* Well, thats not very appetizing. How should I prepare that?

Apparently I’m the one that crossed a line there, despite the fact I was being told to bring SPERM for thanksgiving dinner.

I’m not looking forward to the holidays.

Now that I’m married the pestering has not slowed down at all, but the level of uncomfortableness has finally dropped. Now they encourage me to accidentally forget contraception rather than asking me to bring a turkey baster full of semen.