New Mother: What are you doing?
Me: I’m burping the baby!
New Mother: No seriously, what are you doing?
Me: Ok, I’m playing “Wipeout” on her back. It sounds really cool though!
New Mother: She seems to like it…
New Mother: So today we discovered that the ruffles on the diaper legs need to go on the outside rather than the inside or else they leak all over me.
Me: Ruffles have ridges.
New Mother: …Yes, yes they do.
Me: (Singing) Sister sister, he’s just a baby. We wanna make him stay up all night!
New Mother: Stop singing that.
Me: But its Talking Heads!
New Mother: You’re going to download it and make me listen to it now aren’t you?
Me: … Yes. Yes I am.
New Father: Ah damnit. I got boob juice all over me.
Me: That would make a good band name.
New Father: What? Boob juice all over me?
Me: You just named their first single!
New Mother: I think I preferred talking about poop.
0 responses so far ↓
There are no comments yet...Kick things off by filling out the form below.
Leave a Comment