Yesterday, during the inauguration of President Barack Obama, Vice President Dick Cheney was confined to a wheelchair.
Rumor has it that he injured his back moving out of his current residence, and a doctor recommended he spend several days in the chair to speed his healing. Unfortunately this was not the whole story.
You see, Mr. Cheney became overexcited at the prospect of getting out of office without any criminal convictions. Unfortunately, since his body is composed of over 75% cock, his system was not able to handle the strain of the massive erection that developed.
As a safety precaution doctors have hooked his pacemaker up to much larger batteries because of the increased strain on his heart. Unfortunately the increased weight of the batteries requires that he be confined to a wheelchair. He has been assigned extra secret service agents to help insure that his testicles do not get caught under the wheels while he is moved. Doctors are looking at designing a special trailer for the wheelchair to handle this duty in the future.
Of course we all wish Mr. Cheney the best… Here’s hoping the huge cock gets his ass in a sling to go along with the balls on a trailer.