penismightier.com

While at a New Year’s party I had a stranger tell me a theory… At least, they presented it at a theory, but I guess its really more like an observation they had. It all stemmed from a conversation about Facebook, strangely enough…

“You know, some people’s lives hit their peak in high school. Those are the people that will repeat any High School story they can think of to anyone that will listen. Whenever they recognize someone from their High School past these people will automatically pounce on them because they can relive High School moments. They will never leave their home town. They’ll always be yearning for the glory days of High School all over again.

“Then, there are the people who absolutely hated High School. Those are the people at this party tonight. Most of us lost track of all but a few High School friends, and we generally dont recognize or dont like the other people when they pounce on us to tell their stories.

At first I just kind of shrugged them off politely and tried to find something non-alcoholic to drink since I had to drive home. Mostly I shrugged them off because I didn’t completely hate High School… Certainly I hated parts of it, and I definitely hate people in general. However, by my Junior year I had learned which classes I could skip without getting marked absent and that made the rest seem downright tolerable.

But then a few nights ago I got good and drunk and had some time to think about that statement again. Suddenly I hated this stranger for making me dwell on the past. It was irrational, sure… but using drunk logic it made perfect sense. Yes, I hated High School. I dont mind admitting that, but something about the implications the stranger tied to hating High School made it sound elitist and stupid.

Then I realized that the stranger was using drunk logic as well. This made it even out… in fact two wrongs made a right!

I finally let the statement go and began to focus on figuring out which brand of diet cola went best with my rum.

I started out taking notes and attempting to apply the scientific method to my drinking, so that the process could be replicated for additional tests. Unfortunately after a few experiments I cant read my notes. Obviously my methods are flawed, and I need to find someone to dictate to.

Heh. I said dictate.