penismightier.com

I recently spent relaxing vacation in Northern Wisconsin. My days were filled with hiking, shopping, and floating down rivers in intertubes. My nights were spent recovering from sunburn and picking ticks off my body.

Yes. Picking ticks off my body.

Even though I was wearing pants and tick spray I was still subjected to dozens of the thirsty bloodsuckers crawling up my pant leg and falling down into my hair. In fact, even after changing clothes and showering I found 17 of the fucking things sticking on my body. Then, the only way I could get rid of them was to flush them down the toilet.

Have you ever tried to kill a wood tick? Its fucking impossible. I could almost hear the fucking things yell “SPOON” as they circled the drain.

I still itch thinking about it. and now I need to stop typing, or else this post will become nothing but a string of out-of-context Tick quotes that half of the readers will not get.