penismightier.com

Earlier today I was talking on the phone to my grandfather while I was changing the litterbox and a piece of debris flew up into the back of my throat. In shock, I dropped the phone into the litterbox and started to cough while trying to avoid swallowing.

So… that kind of worked. But I cant cough it up. Its stuck in my throat, irritating it. It feels like the beginning of strep throat feels. I even gave up and drank a can of soda and a glass of water trying to jar it free. Out of desperation I tried a few gulps of milk, followed by a shot of whiskey.

So, now I’m bloated, a little buzzed, my throat is sore, and I’ve got crystallized cat urine in my throat.

To add insult to injury, the cat just jumped into the litterbox next to my computer room and took a raunchy shit that smelled the whole rom up. At least, I think it was raunchy. The cat litter in my throat may actually be burrowing its way up into my sinuses and affecting my sense of smell.

But on the bright side my sinuses will drain more efficiently.

I suppose I should go wash the phone off now.