penismightier.com

Last week I stopped to visit an older relative of mine, and soon found myself making small talk in his living room.

him: I had to ask my daughter to leave. She wasn’t helping around the house, I couldn’t afford to keep paying her insurance, and she’s had two years to find a job.

me: Yeah? How are her kids doing.

him: Oh, fine fine. The problem I’m having is that she left some of her stuff behind. I’m thinking of burning it.

me: Burning it? What did she leave behind?

him: Well, its in the freezer out on the porch.

me: Uh…

him: She finally found a doctor that would cut off her breasts, and she’s storing one of them in the freezer. She’s been mailing them around the country trying to find a doctor that will prove she had cancer.

me: One? Where is the other one?

him: It never made it back from a clinic in California. Supposedly lost in the mail.

me: Well, instead of burning it you could send it to a taxidermist and then mail it back to her.

him: What was that?

me: Boy how about that NASCAR? Did you see what Gordon did to Earnhart?

him: No… what did he do?

me: Oh, you had to be there. Also, I was just changing the subject.

him: That fucking Biffle though, let me tell you…

*shudder*