penismightier.com

Ok. I understand random baggage checks on the checked baggage. I really do.

But after years of flying I have suddenly realized that I have yet to check my baggage and not get it searched. How do I know its searched? Every time the baggage is checked there is a card left inside of the suitcase saying as much. I’m not really sure how it is that my bag gets singled out every time, but I have a feeling it has something to do with saying “Awww, just two more minutes?” when getting a pat-down in an airport 5 years ago.

Anyway… during my extensive travels over the last few months I have stopped removing the cards when my baggage is inspected. They were stacking up to the point I could almost have turned them into a respectable deck of cards. But then suddenly a bunch of them disappeared, and the one on top had a date stamp on the top.

I can pretend I was doing this as a form of protest, or perhaps I was pointing out how much paper they’re wasting. But really I’m just too lazy to throw trash out when someone else puts it in my suitcase.

As far as checking my baggage goes, I have this to say: If I pay $25 to check my baggage, then I better be able to place my feet underneath the seat in front of me. Make one of those assholes that bring huge suitcases into the plane lose their legroom damnit!