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Normally my cats are pooping machines. In fact, over the years I’ve developed a theory that a cats primary purpose in life is to manufacture poop. When it comes right down to it, shedding on my clothes is really just a hobby.

So on Sunday I noticed one of my cats had stopped pooping, and I realized there may be a problem. On Monday it started to produce again, but unfortunately its output dial seemed to be stuck on vomit instead of poop. I gave in, and resigned myself on a visit to the cat mechanic.

Thankfully there was an opening for Monday afternoon, and the mechanic was able to identify the problem after a minor examination.

It turns out that the cat must have had some… digestive problems… that resulted in poop getting stuck in the hair around its anus. This happened enough times in a row to form a strange hair-and-poop plug over its anus, and eventually prevented the cat from pooping.

This is apparently known as an anal cap. I prefer to call it an ass hat.

Suffice it to say I was happy that the poop machine was easy to repair. I’ve grown attached to this one, and this really isn’t the time of year to go shopping for a new one.

20 minutes later I had a very relieved cat and a bill for shaving the ass cap off the cats ass.

Now if (for some reason) you are curious about what could have happened to the cats internal systems during this ordeal, imagine what happens to a car when a banana is shoved in its tailpipe.

On a related note, I present to you, Beverly Hills Cop in one minute: