comfortable with conformity

January 7, 2001

Ok, I feel better than I did a few hours ago. I have some Mario's pizza in my belly, I'm chatting with S and Biff on-line, and my sister is out for a few hours. I'm not thinking of my fucked-up friends, and one of my sister's guy friends said I looked thin. Things are looking up.

I was actually pretty damn pissed off after I wrote the previous entry, because my sister said that J planned a dinner for tonight, and we would probably have to go pick him and his girlfriend up. I said to her, "Fuck no! Tell him to have j take him! If you pick him up, I'm not going!" I love how my sister and I are the friends of convenience. As she was showering, I rode my exercise bike, still angry, then thought about why I was angry. Maybe the endorphins kicked in, I don't know, but when she got out of the shower I said, "You know what? I don't care anymore." Maybe I'm at that GROW UP, YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOT YOUR LIFE stage. Anyway, turned out the dinner was cancelled, and my sister and I ended up going out with some of her (normal) friends and had a good time.

I think I tend to harp on issues that aren't really issues to avoid thinking about the two biggies in my life: WORK and SEX. I need a full time job, and I need to have sex. I just can't see myself waking up at 7 am every morning and working in an office all day-- you know, like adults. I search Monster.com often, looking for anything having to do with writing, editing, proofreading, or copywriting. Work for English majors, particulary in the south east, is scarce. No one tells you these things when you choose a major...