Comfortable With Conformity
February 28, 2001
I have my period, I feel very, very, bloated, and I'm procrastinating doing my nightly jog. I'm tired and I'm dreading going to my old high school (again) early tommorow morning to get my transcript (again) to prove to my college that I took a foreign language. I did this a month ago, but when I called the registrar's office to check on my graduation status, they said I have to get my transcript and physically hand it to them in a sealed envelope with the words, "Foreign Language Requirement" on it, instead of having my high school e-mail it, because when the transcript is e-mailed, is goes directly to the admissions office, not the registrar's office. Go forbid someone in the admissions office bring my transcript to the registrar's.
I have no friends, as I've mentioned before. Or no friends that I truly like. Does something weird happen after high school, where you lose all your friends? If I want to go do something with somebody, it's gonna be with my sister, S, or my mom. There are no other people in my life that will make plans (and keep them) and go shopping with me, or watch a movie with me, or just hang out with me. Wait, I take that back. My quasi-friends like Samantha, Nick and Mark, who live no more than five minutes away in the same apartment, will always jump at the chance to see me, but I've come to the realization that I cannot tolerate them anymore. No, no more. The last time I saw them, I was with S, giving Nick a birthday gift, but that's it. I cannot handle one more tired, recycled cock joke from Nick, Mark's immature, hormone-charged observations of life, or Samantha's hyper-sensitivty and painfully slow story-telling delivery. No, no, no.
Part of me wants to do like those kids on MTV's special True Life: I'm On Ectasy did, and start a new crowd of friends downing X pills and going to raves. Of course, I'm not going to start doing X (or is it, "ex"?), but I need something, something different. New people. People who are open, caring, funny, non-religious, sensitive enough to be nice but not sensitive enough to be annoying, somewhat intelligent, forgiving, fun, and accessible. I find people like this all the time on the internet because, for the most part, people are honest about who they are on line. In person, who knows, though. The same people who seem friendly, smart, and easy-going on an IM chat, message board or e-mail, can very well be sullen, moody and antisocial in person. I try my darndest to keep my online persona as close to my real life persona as possible, but I think we all express ourselves differently through our writing versus oral communication, whether we do it intentionally or not.
Anyway. I think I'm going to take out a want ad for some local friends now.
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