June 7th

Thursday

Oprah would be proud of me. All day I kept saying to myself, "I've found my inner peace."

It sounds so corny! But something wonderful happened, so wonderful I feel as if recording it with typed words will spoil it, but I can't help myself.

After my workout, I stretched. I stretched more than usual. I extended every limb and pushed myself to the limit. It felt...amazing. I've never tried yoga, but I've heard you feel amazing after yoga, and I wonder if the sensation is similar. Anyway, I felt so good, I kept going, stretching my calves, my thighs, my arms, feeling wonderful. A feeling of peace came over me. A feeling of well-being, I can't really articulate this properly without sounding horribly lame and Hallmark-ish. I felt so HEALTHY.

I had another eight glasses of water today, working on my ninth, no carbonated beverages, one glass of cranberry juice to keep my bladder infection-free. I feel a bit...spiritual. I've heard that many mental patients come out born-agains. I think I've bypassed that and have become a reborn spirtual person. I'm Tracie. No, seriously. I love you Tracie!

I mean, I've always been into health, fitness and wellness. I've always chosen the grilled chicken over the fried, the low-fat cookie over the candy bar, the weight training over the Hollywood Juice Diet. I've bought the candles, read the self-help books, taken the hot baths with meditation tapes. But I never really "got" it like I got it today. For the first time, things made sense. I felt peaceful. I knew I wasn't perfect, I knew I would make mistakes, I knew I was far from being the person I wanted to be, but I was peaceful. At first it was very euphoric, then it slowly dissolved into the day and turned into a quiet peaceful feeling. I watched Oprah, and, for the first time, didn't cringe at her lame marketing scheme to "find your spirit", yet felt oddly connected to Oprah, realizing that she "got it" too.