June 15th

Friday

Down my journey to spiritual enlightment and inner peace, I've come across a road block called MY PARENTS, proof again that I need to leave this house. I hate seeing my parents argue; it fills me with this feeling of unsettledness, and only goes away when they are on speaking terms again and joking around. Hardly anything makes me sadder than hearing them scream at each other.

In the car yesterday, my dad was being his usual nervous, impatient, flying-off-the-handle self, and when I caught him in the act of losing it, he quickly chuckled and said, "You know, I'm doing a lot better, I'm a lot less nervous," to which my mom cackled her insensitive laugh and said, "Come ON! You're terrible! Remember yesterday, when you couldn't find an address? Give me a break!"

My dad was hurt. He yelled back, "You never give me any support, always knocking me" while my mom screamed over him that he was wrong.

It's hard not to get involved. I know it's wrong, and I'm stopping it. I spoke to my mom today about her seeking therapy, to which she quickly said, "No, he has to seek therapy. Do you know what he's doing to my blood pressure?" she said, tears welling up. Frustrated, I walked away. My mom has no idea what she's doing to her own blood pressure by reacting so adversely to my dad's actions. She takes no responsiblity for her unhealthy reactions. I do agree that my dad should get therapy too, but he's not the one complaining about a problem.

I'm going to stay out of it, and only tell my mom to get professional counseling and refuse to talk to her about it if she brings the problem up to me again. Maybe she'll get so frustrated with me ignoring her that she will.