I bought two new sports bras and three pairs of workout shorts. I figured the new clothes would inspire me to work out. Being fat again is so depressing. When I'm fat, nothing goes over my hips. I have very womanly, wide wips. They are always my biggest obstacle when pulling up jeans. I saw the cutest Bubblegum jeans at Marshalls yesterday for only $10, but I didn't even try them on because I couldn't bare standing in the fitting room, trying to budge them over my hips. Why did I have to get fat again?

I told Anita how sad I am about looking for work and being bored. I feel like I bore her, even though she assured me that it's not my job to entertain her. Even seeing Anita is boring-- I sit in her waiting room on a '70s plaid sofa for 15 minutes, leafing through back issues of Seventeen and People, then go into her office and chat for an hour. I love Anita. She's in her fourties or fiftes, very pretty and very understanding. I wish she was my aunt or family friend so we could go shopping together. But then, that goes back to my need for female friends. Ugh.