Comfortable With Conformity

August 18th

Saturday early afternoon

2 girls + 2 guys + 1 webcam = hardcore sex for money. Or something like that. I'll explain.

Jan has a webcam, and she joined, a service that enables her to do "shows" for $1.00 a minute. She invited me over last night. I walked in her room, and she was wearing a black and green lace teddy and boots.

I said, "What the..." She laughed and told me she was "working". Intrigued, I asked if I could join in. We were there with her brother, who is 17, and her boyfriend. We all crouched around the webcam, waiting for someone to "enter" the "room". When they enter, you hear a "ding-dong", and when they leave, you hear "cha-ching!".

So, someone came into the room, and wanted to see Jan's tits, which she willingly obliged. I could not believe she was doing this in front of her brother. I got in on the act too, showing my tits. Shame on me, I know. But we were making money. The whole time, amid rubbing our tits together and feigning sexual positions, we were dying laughing, feeling giddy and dirty at the same time. I have to admit, despite myself, I enjoyed it. We ended up making $5.00 apiece.

Anyway, today looks...bleak. My sister left for a one week trip to LA, so I'm home, alone, pondering life and getting fatter. (I ate at Sweet Tomatoes last night.) I have nothing to do. S is away on tour with KEEP, my sister is away, and I sure as hell don't want to do anything with Nick and Samantha, although I may resort to that. I'm down. I haven't heard from the job yet, but I'm still hoping. Part of me knows I got the job...I can *feel* it. The interview went so well. The other part of me thinks I'll be unemployed for months to come. I just couldn't bear that. I'll try to do something constructive with this day...

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