Comfortable With Conformity

August 18th

Saturday, early evening

I took a drive. Cleared my head. Listened to Power 96 while weaving in and out of Miami traffic. I drove down to South Beach, taking the heavily congested scenic route via Collins avenue. This is how bored I am, people, when I willingly take the long way to get somewhere. Actually, I wasn't trying to "get to" anywhere. I was driving for the sake of driving. Pity I live in Florida, where there are no curving country roads or awestriking mountain ranges, just buildings in pastel colors. It was nice, though. I toyed with the idea of going to Pizza Hut to say hi to the old gang, but I wasn't dressed nicely enough to parade myself in front of them. I ended up going to a Walgreens in South Beach and bought two obscenely huge chocolate bars and ironically, a diet Pepsi. Chocolate is warmth, chocolate makes me feel good. It's actually a scientific fact that chocolate releases chemicals in your brain to make you feel good.

So, I drove home, nibbling on a Cadbury Dairy Milk bar, contemplating life. Driving and eating chocolate is soothing. I felt better. Now, sitting here in my room, smelling the remains of incest I was burning, I am somewhat satisfied with my day. I don't even care that I didn't work out, or that I probably ingested 500 calories of chocolate in one sitting. I don't care that the only thing I can fit into are my elastic waisted pants from Old Navy. I'm actually semi-content. I think because I know, in my heart, I'm going to get this job. I'm going to get a call Monday, it's going to be Mike, and he's going to offer it to me. I've been thinking good thoughts about this all week, I've even talked to god about this, even though I don't really believe in him. I am an unhappy girl without work. I know a lot of you reading this are envious of me, because my life is like an extended vacation. WELL, DON'T BE. Waking up at noon and eating bran flakes while chatting with my mom about her condo board meeting IS NOT FUN. I want to wake up early, wear a suit, pack a lunch, and GO TO WORK. I want to have CO-WORKERS. I want a 401K and health insurance-- aren't I entitled to be an adult? Why won't anyone let me?

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