Comfortable With Conformity

August 25th


Today is beautiful. I just came in from the pool, soaking up UVA and UVB rays, trying to color my crayon-white skin. I look hot tan. I especially like when my chest gets dark, because it creates a nice contrast to my shirt. I have to admit, I spend the whole time tanning thinking, I'm getting skin cancer, I'm getting skin cancer. Then I quickly push the thought away and remind myself that I've slathered on SPF 60 lotion and that I routinely check my moles to see if they've changed in size. I am really careful about the sun. I don't want to get premature wrinkles. I would fake-tan but I don't trust those self tanners to do a good job, although I must admit I'm intrigued by that informerical for Perfect Tan, but I'm not about to spend $20 on anything right now.

My sister is coming home today. Did I mention that she went to The Price Is Right show, and her friend got called to "come on down"? Not only that, he won both showcases. Isn't that amazing? He won a convertible, refrigerator, dinnette set, some trips and mountain bikes. Unbelievable. If you can, watch the show October 26th. His name is Jay.

Last night I went to a KEEP show, and nothing fit me. It was like a bad joke. I tried on an old size 9 lace skirt from my fat days, and it wouldn't zip up. I finally settled on my new pants and a big red hooded jacket to conceal my fat. I think I'm dressing in big clothes that hide my body until I lose weight. Being fat again is the pits. I hate it.

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