8.27.01

Monday

They've got me filing. I just don't have the patience to sort through loads of papers and put them in the right folder, especially when everything's a mess. I was actually down on the floor, near my cubicle, sorting through shit. At first I was very diligent, then I became lazy and stuffed the Thailand filed in the Hong Kong folder, and the Cambodia files in the Miscellaneous Asia folder. I'm a rebel.

I'm writing this from work. My cubicle is far away from everyone, which is good and bad. Good because I can goof off and no one knows. Bad cause it's lonely over here. I don't get to join in on the office banter about online sex quizzes and new video releases. Not that I would be that vocal anyway-- I've been extremely shy here. So shy I don't even know what my insurance coverage is, or if you have to punch out and punch back in everytime you leave the office to go to the bathroom.

It's 11:42 am. I just finished filing a shitload of crap, and I'm waiting until after lunch to ask Denise (the girl who tells me what to do) what to do next. I feel so bad bothering her. It seems like I'm always saying, "What do I do now?" Of course it's not my fault-- how do I know what to do? Working eight hours straight is weird.

---later, 5:30 pm

I'm home now. I spent the last hour of work reading The Real World Blows summaries and ignoring my growling stomach. Someone had brought brownies to work, and I declined them. I said no to brownies! Oh my god. It's probably because I can't stand the sight of my fat fucking ass. I can't stand that I need to wear size 8s in the ladies section instead of the tiny junior's department.

I cannot take another day of work, sitting on the floor, filing. First of all, it's busy work for stupid people. Second of all, it hurts my back. Third of all, I didn't buy new business clothes so I can sit on the floor. Oh-- speaking of clothes. Everyone wears jeans and sandals. Jeans and sandals! Here am I going NUTS buying Ann Taylor suits for $60, and nice pants, and everyone is dressed for a backyard barbeque.