penismightier.com

Some parents are better at suppressing their children’s evil tendencies than others… while others seem to encourage them. Anyone that has ever visited a Wal-Mart can tell you that.
However, sometimes the attempts to teach a young demon-vessel civilized manners can backfire. Take the case of a friend of mine, who had spent time [...]

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There has long been a theory that adding the Benny Hill Theme Song (‘Yakkety Sax’) to any tragic video will make it funny. Of course, it helps if the video is sped up.
For example:

I challenge the readers, email harvesters, and spam-bots that frequent this website to find a horrible/tragic/disgusting/etc video that is NOT made [...]

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On the Pen forum, TheOnyx responded to Jeer’s proposal below by creating a build-a-bear sex toy.

Originally written by jeer:
I got home from work the other day to find the following on the front porch:
(click for larger versions)

“Chris, I put on my robe
and wizard hat. Roll for
initiative. Love, [...]

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Two members of the Pen forum, TheOnyx and Jeer, have apparently finally consummated their love…

Originally written by TheOnyx:
I was awoken this morning by a phone call to my cell phone at 8am. FedEx needed to confirm my name and address and mentioned that they were attempting to deliver a perishable package… namely, flowers.
I hung up [...]

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My wife and I recently went to an indoor waterpark so that we could pretend that the cold death of winter was not yet upon us. We had a good time, first going down some slides and then floating around the lazy river without a care.
Eventually we retreated to the wave pool [...]

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While watching television a few nights ago I started to hear what sounded like an animal in pain outside my living room window. At first I try to just tune it out by raising the television volume, but after about 20 minutes it becomes more insistent and I finally decide to go outside and [...]

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Over the last few weeks I’ve been seeing all sorts of video footage of the effects of “Cash for Clunkers” throughout the country.
But nowhere has it made more of a difference than in the lives of creepy child molesters. See, Clash for Clunkers allows them to trade in their 15 year old panel van [...]

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Yesterday I was drinking a pitcher of rum and coke with friends when a drunk woman approached us. I say she was drunk mostly because she approached us, and my friends tend to only attract drunk women.
Anyway, she approached us and asked quite loudly (to no one in particular) “Hey, how the [...]

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A few months ago I raised the dog bed in my spare bedroom to the same level as the window. Ever since then the cats and the dog have been competing for space on the dog bed so they could sleep in the sun or stare at the neighbors.
Apparently a compromise was finally [...]

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I was recently moved to read a little piece of moral turpentine entitled “Dr. Tiller: Who will mourn your casualties?” So moved in fact, that I have humbly undertaken to pen a tribute. It is, with characteristic restraint, entitled:
Dr. Washington, What Would Minnie Think?
Characters

Socrates, a Greek
Dr. Ellis Washington, professor of law and political science at [...]

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