penismightier.com

There is a school of thought that dictates that you should introduce yourself to your neighbors as soon as you move in, and try to maintain an amicable relationship with them. There is a also a school of thought that people should mind their own damn business and leave a person to their own devices. [...]

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My drink wants me to be happy.

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I was visiting some friends in Missouri recently, and the topic of my northern colloquialisms came up. Specifically, someone had issues with calling a carbonated beverage “pop”. So started a long winded conversation about “Soda”, “Pop”, and “Coke” across the country. Everyone has had these conversations, so I cant say that I lent anything new [...]

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You know what I miss? Ransom notes made out of words cut from magazines. Clme eats whores! In this age of email, laser printers, and text messages kidnappers just dont have to expend as much effort in their demands any longer. Its relatively simple for them to just log on to to some public computer [...]

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What I was thinking: Oh… I dont know if getting that cat high is such a good idea. Its probably going to act like its in heat and eat all the cat food. Wow. Its running in circles… Its still running in circles… It better spin the other way soon or I’m going to get [...]

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I forget my desire to not be rude and reach out to make sure she’s not a hologram.

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We’ve all heard this one before… The scenario is simple: A friend is about to do something that could be portrayed as dangerous. Depending on the person’s attitude, they either brag about the upcoming event or they request encouragement. Then someone pipes in with the tired old joke… “If you die can I have your [...]

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