penismightier.com

I always hear the stories of people proposing over Twitter. I’ve even read a few of the ‘tweets’ myself when someone has pointed them out to me. My question is this: Has anyone that was proposed to over Twitter actually accepted? Related: How many homicides have occurred thanks to Twitter marriage proposals?

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Kids these days. Wait, let me start over. People these days. No respect. We’re a species of spoiled brats. I often bitch about this indirectly when I see anyone start exhibiting behavior that personifies a complete lack of acknowledgment about how privileged a person is or how retarded it is that they are bitching about [...]

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While performing my after-shower rituals this evening I noticed something very, very disturbing in the mirror …besides my naked body. There appeared to be two coarse, curly hairs growing out of my ear. Upon closer examination I found that their roots were based on my ear lobe, but the effect was disturbing. My ear was [...]

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While at a New Year’s party I had a stranger tell me a theory… At least, they presented it at a theory, but I guess its really more like an observation they had. It all stemmed from a conversation about Facebook, strangely enough… “You know, some people’s lives hit their peak in high school. Those [...]

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There is a school of thought that dictates that you should introduce yourself to your neighbors as soon as you move in, and try to maintain an amicable relationship with them. There is a also a school of thought that people should mind their own damn business and leave a person to their own devices. [...]

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My drink wants me to be happy.

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I was visiting some friends in Missouri recently, and the topic of my northern colloquialisms came up. Specifically, someone had issues with calling a carbonated beverage “pop”. So started a long winded conversation about “Soda”, “Pop”, and “Coke” across the country. Everyone has had these conversations, so I cant say that I lent anything new [...]

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You know what I miss? Ransom notes made out of words cut from magazines. Clme eats whores! In this age of email, laser printers, and text messages kidnappers just dont have to expend as much effort in their demands any longer. Its relatively simple for them to just log on to to some public computer [...]

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What I was thinking: Oh… I dont know if getting that cat high is such a good idea. Its probably going to act like its in heat and eat all the cat food. Wow. Its running in circles… Its still running in circles… It better spin the other way soon or I’m going to get [...]

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I forget my desire to not be rude and reach out to make sure she’s not a hologram.

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