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The lumberyard was having a ’20% off sale’ today and I was in need of some tools and plumbing supplies. It seemed like a win-win situation, so I left the shelter of my home and ventured out into the asshole-filled concrete-jungle that some call a city. Little was I to know that every inbred halfwit [...]

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My basement recently became infested with earwigs. The little creepy bastards were constantly found crawling on the floor and walls, and seemed to be finding shelter in the space behind the baseboards. At first I found them to be just a minor (and ugly) nuisance. Then I began finding them invading other portions of the [...]

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I was talking to my grandfather today and he told me about how his day went. He had gone to visit a cousin of mine that has 2 kids, a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The three year old, a boy, apparently ran out of the bathroom extremely proud of going by [...]

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Some of my extended family has a problem with lifestyle choices I’ve made in the past. Most notably, they have a problem with the fact that I haven’t knocked some girl up yet. They dont seem to have any problem with the fact that I’m not married, and in fact they dont even bother mentioning [...]

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Over the years I have discovered several ‘rules’ about marriage that I have to remember when I visit elderly relatives and small-minded assholes. I have compiled these ‘rules’ into a simple list so that those of you with aging, racist relatives can fake a conversation long enough to not get written out of the will. [...]

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Over my years of sitting on things I have discovered that there are different classes of furniture. It seems that different items have their rank and value determined by a complicated formula that involves who bought it, how old it is, and wether or not its been in my home. Some furniture has only narrowly [...]

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Last weekend I went to visit my sister and her husband in northern Wisconsin. They are currently residing in the thriving metropolis of Ashland. Well, it would be a metropolis if you counted all the deer running around the town right now, anyway. My sister and her husband do not have internet access of any [...]

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This afternoon one of my cousins stopped by to bullshit(and get some computer help). We had a pretty good time, went out for lunch, and also managed to play some mariokart before I had to kick him out so I could take care of some other plans for the day. He had parked his pickup [...]

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Many of us have purchased cars. Many of us have purchased cars with intent to abuse the living hell out of them. Some of us have even purchased lemons, or overlooked problems because of another feature that we just adored. Not like my poor friend Joe. Joe recently sold a car that he had tried [...]

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I think I’ve mentioned cousin “Timmy” in several posts before. Suffice it to say that Timmy is someone I know who has a love for all things electronic, a drive to know how they work, and the desire to make them better and faster. The problem comes in that he frequently fails… For example: Click [...]

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