posted 03-16-2001 16:36            

Have you ever heard the phrase "Employees make the worst customers"?

Hmm. You would think that people who work in customer service themselves would
find it in their hearts to be a little more understanding when it comes to making a
complaint. I have found this isn't the case, however.

Last Christmas, for example, I became one of the complainers.

I was at a local Kmart looking for gifts. The problem I was having, is that the Kmart
where I live doesn't place any price stickers on their items or shelves. What they
have instead, is TWO price scanners on either end of the store that you can use to
check how much they shaft--I mean charge you.

After several items that weren't showing a price on the scanners I went to the
"Service Desk" to compain. I was told that "We dont have the people to
constantly update the price stickers, so we stopped using them"

Whoa.

Then I brought up the issue of the items with no price coming up on the scanners.
They went through a large book to find them. Then, armed with little slips of paper
confirming the prices I got into line.

Those of you familiar with Kmart know that they have some peculiar checkout rules
that, as far as I know, are unique to Kmart.

First of all, the checkers ARE NOT allowed to quantity anthing. You buy 35 cans of
cat food...they have to scan each one individually.

Then, if an item doesn't ring up...they have to go through a 3 minute procedure
(AFTER they find out the price) of keying in department and UPC code information,
insert a signed affadavit, and double checking everything in the computer again.
They cannot just type in "$4.99" and make a note to check it out later.

I had 5 identical items that didn't ring up. I had to wait for over 10 minutes at this
checkout while the checker repeated said procedure for items she should have been
able to quantity anyway. I was not polite for the second half of that order.

Then I returned to the service desk and asked to see the manager. She came out
and I relayed the problems I was having with the lack of price tags and the stupid
checkout rules.

She gave me a card with a phone number to their automated complaint line.

I then said some things that got me banned from Kmart for life.

From what I understand, that manager was fired 2 months later. Too many
complaints

KMart sucks.

Only on Sundays.

I'm a good driver.

Re: How to get banned from Kmart.

didnt get banned but i whent to buy a 25 cent cig lighter at a local kmart was aprox
30 customers waiting to check out would have been cool if there had been say 5 or
6 lines but well there was only one.
i proceded to walk out of the store on they way out i threw the light behind the
service desk as hard as i could and heard a satifing pop when it busted on the floor
and yelled back "next time maybe you will have the sence to open more registers
when the 30+ customers waiting in a single line idiots!!!!"

THE DRAGON WAS HERE :-)

Edited by: nova_flare at: 3/13/01 4:57:55 am

That'll learn em

Why would you go to KMart to buy a lighter?

Ok...well...um...

Are you the guy who broke the coffee pot?

Hrm.

I do not think that breaking a lighter really made a difference in the whole scheme of
things...and (if they had the people) they could have detained you. At least if you
swear and insult them the most they can do is ban you Where did you find a
lighter for 25 cents anyhow?

Well....I do believe that Kmart is dying. Even with the help from the Martha Stewart
merchandise they seeem to be going further and further downhill. Being banned from
there was probably actually a positive point the more I reflect on it. Dammitall! they
should still have had price tags on the damn shelves.

-Chris

Try Fred Meyer, they have price tags on the shelf and U-scan check out, so you
don't have to deal with the functional illiterates behind the counter. If you don't
have a Fred Meyer near you, you are in the wrong part of the country. Move to the
northwest, I assure you it's better than anywhere else.

Reader mail time! I must say that this is the most disturbing story I've read in
some time. It disturbs me on so many levels I wont even go into it here...
Also the email name raises a question... Why goatblower_finite? Why not
goatblower_infinite? Hmm. Some peoples kids...I tell ya.

From: "Pat McCrotch"
To:
Subject: banned from 2 joints in 1 night...
Date: Sun, 11 Mar 2001 23:21:51 -0800

Gee, never thought i'd get to tell this story again. some years ago during my purple
9" mohawk dayz, a few buds and i travelled just across the border to a multi-tiered
club called "crazy zak's" to shoot some pool and what have you.

was a fairly nice club chain (from what i could remember) although mine was not the
usual ilk to frequent such places, we went anyway. the dance floor was on the 1st
floor and the games room was practically the whole upper tier, we had been there
maybe 2 hours playing air hockey and video games waiting on a table when we
finally saw one we thought was clear, so my buddy seth and i rushed over to stake
our claim while josh and jamie went to pay up. as we approached the table, a group
of local "bruthaz" informed us the table was theirs and they had the balls to show
us(no pun). so we decided to patiently wait our turn.

after another 2 hours or so of downing a few illegally procured alcoholic beverages
and multi-rounds of brutal asskikking at mortal kombat, we tried to the pool tables
again, and as luck would have it, the "bruthaz' were still playing. of course we were
a bit miffed, but i though nothing of it, really, until the fireworks. apparently, seth
and the bruthas had been trading evil glances and we all chimed in with various
utterances, mostly under our breaths until one of the "bruthaz" caught wind and
asked josh if he was talking to him. and josh in his infinite wisdom spurted out "i
don't know, did you hear me say nigger?" oh @#%$.

this was immediately followed by josh being clubbed up side the head by said brutha
and several instances of bystanders being either clubbed or beaned by billiard balls.
needless to say, after the smoke cleared, we were effectively banned from crazy
zak's...but the story isn't over... we came back to our side of the border and
decided to stop in at denny's to nurse our wounds, sober up, and laugh lik ehell at
the night's festivities. we took our usual places at the back of the joint. we'd been
comfortably seated for about 15 mins when across the booth division, we saw our
new friends the "bruthaz" taking a table within easy earshot.

great, apparently, they were locals too, of course they noticed us noticing them and
the verbal discouse began anew. this was escalating quickly into a low scale food
fight and some mad @#%$ talking, when seth excused himself from the table and
disappeared. after roughly 10 minutes, he came back to our table and suggested we
just leave money for our chek on the table and follow him as we were leaving.
seth took us AROUND the division and definitely out of our way to stop by the
"bruthaz" table to offer our apology for being such dicks and then he dropped a
peace offering on their table, my god, i swear seth HAD to have been abused as a
child because on that table, unwrapped in a denny's napkin was the largest turd log i
have ever or yet to have ever seen. the "bruthaz" of course didn't take too kindly to
this, promptly refused our peace offering and the fisticuffs began anew. eventually,
the police were called, all were questioned, all were detained, 3 were courted and
we all were banned from our 2nd establishment in 1 evening...how's that for a story,
eh?

Its a tough call which was worse.... Breaking a lighter because you have to
wait in line, or (literally) slinging poop spiced with racial slurs.

I find poop is served best fried with a side of hash browns. DO NOT BAKE IT!!!

Now, another story from Chris:
I come from a fairly, um, ruralized family. Some of their values and colloquialisms are
at times questionable in a public place.

Last summer I had some of my cousins over helping me paint a house. They noticed
some definitely not-up-to-code wiring I had done for a temporary light source in the
porch. One of them yelled out, as loud as he could, "Hey! Look at this Nigger-rigged
wiring Chris did!"

Of course, they equated the term "nigger-rig" to be the same as "jury-rig".

I quickly looked over my shoulder (I lived 2 blocks from the government housing at
the time) and checked to see if he had been overheard. Thankfully he had not. He
would have been shot.

So I shot him. No, really, I took him aside and explained that using that particular
term while outside of his Grandparents kitchen would quite quickly reduce his
lifespan.

The moral: Murderers may not be made, but Bigots sure as hell are.

-Chris

I work at Fred Meyer... as a checker. I'm sure others can vouch for my literacy, the
company does suck but so do our customers. Most of us are merely unhappy.

Sara, I meant no offense to Fred Meyer checkers as a group, but apparently I have
the worst luck in choosing checkout lines and always get stuck with the guy who
still hasn't learned to use a computer and can't remember the plu code for bananas.

First: Be in the Army

B: Be stationed at Ft. Leavenworth, Kansas

3: Get really drunk

Fourth: Walk to Food for less at 3am the week before Thanksgiving

posted 03-18-2001 21:39         

ON A FRIDAY, after depositing your hard-earned money in their outside ATM, realize that you need $100 more than you kept out.

Go into the branch, and after waiting in an absurdly long line because there's only two windows open (which we've already covered), tell the teller that you'd like $100 from the money you deposited.
Listen to the teller tell you how they can't do this because there's a waiting period.
(once, I deposited a check and got no receipt, so the teller went into the ATM and got my check out-)

Tell the teller that you would like your money back. Listen to the teller tell you they can't do that (when you damn well know they can). Ask for the manager.
Listen to the manager tell you the same thing. Ask him if there is anything he can do for you and listen to him beat around the bush and NOT just flat out tell you 'no'.

Start to speak loudly. It's friday, remember? They are really crowded today. Ask the manager repeatedly "So you're telling me there's nothing you can do for me?" and (here's the clencher) "So, in essence, you're STEALING (say this one really loud...yell it) MY MONEY!" Go on about how you deposited your money and how they are stealing if they don't give it back to you right now. Say the word "stealing" a lot.

Watch security come for you.

This may not be entirely reasonable, but it sure is fun...

[This message has been edited by seonaidh (edited 03-18-2001).]

posted 02-04-2002 23:08            

Last year, a friend and I were walking around our local Wal-Mart, killing time while we should've been in class. My friend decides that he'll attempt to shoplift as many pieces of software as he possibly can, using the tried-and-true method of using a pocketknife, slicing open the box tops, and absconding with the CDs within. I knew it would only be a matter of time before he was caught... he had already taken the Warcraft Battle Chest, Office 2000, Alice, and a copy of Quake 2 that was sitting there... but got caught stealing a copy of... Mandrake Linux v. 6.1. He was immediately escorted out of the store by security, as I followed at a respectable distance... he was my ride, after all.

posted 02-05-2002 01:03            

He was escorted out of the store?

They usually press charges with extreme prejudice, or at least call your parents if you're under age.

Not that I have any traumatic memories from my indiscriminate youth, or anything.

Oh... I hope you punched him right in the nuts for getting caught stealing something that is essentially free. (you're paying for the media and the docs, I believe.)

posted 02-05-2002 07:16         

this is just fucking beyond me.

I mean, okay, I guess I could understand if you decided to steal SuSE cos they don't make downloadable x86 versions of the current release (only testing versions that can only run from the CD)...but MANDRAKE? you can download that for free! or fucking send 5 bucks to cheapbytes and they'll send you the fucking thing.