posted 03-25-2001 21:59            

One of my favorite has to be of one of my fraternity brothers.

I have know him for years. We went to junior high, highschool and then college together. We lived together in the dorms freshman year. We both went down to the house and drank. We both ended up pretty drunk. We stumbled the mile and a half walk back up to the doors.

We both proceed to goto bed.

A few hours later I hear him get out of bed. I ask "Where are you going?" He replies in a still drunk voice, "I gotta take a piss."

So he opens the door.

I'm laying in bed, trying to fall back asleep. Being the considerate roommate in his drunked stupidity, he leaves the door wide open. The hallway lights make me feel like a deer in headlights.

Then I hear the sound of running water. I soon remember that the bathroom is at the end of the hallway and no where near my dorm room. I start to think a little harder.

Ding, ding, ding

We have a winner. My roommate is taking a leak on the door across the hall from me. And me being the responsible person I am, instead of telling him to head to the bathroom, I begin to laugh my ass off and climb out of bed to confirm my initial thoughts of him pissing in the hallway.

I'm dead on. So I lock the door behind him. After he finishes up his business he tries to open the door. (We have these combination locks where you press buttons to open the door) He begins mashing on the keypad trying to get in. I let him stay out there till I heard another group of students coming down the hallway. I let him in, and he hops back into bed like nothing has happened. I hear the group of drunks walk by and say, "It smell like piss".

I fall back asleep.

I then wake up the next morning. I ask him, so, you ever pissed in a hallway before? He replies "No. Why the hell would you ask me that?" I say "Well, you pissed all over the door across the hall last night." He replies "F. U. I would never do that!!" I say, "You sure as hell did, I saw you do it!!" We then open the door and I point to the large piss stain on the carpet. He merely looks at me and says "Opps" and then proceeds to plead with me not to tell the guys in the fraternity because they would all tell the sorotiy girls. Of course I told everyone as fast as I could.

I'll never forget that as long as I live.

posted 03-26-2001 14:13            

I was at a party at highschool once, and I had to go to the restroom to take a leak. Beer will do that to you. (and yes, they serve beer and wine at parties in highschool here in The Netherlands.)

Anyway, as I was taking a leak, two other guys who were in the restroom too decided, gloriously drunk as they were, to try and kick the towel dispenser off the wall.

I decide to stay there and keep an eye on their progress when all of a sudden the principal walks in. They don't notice the guy and keep on kicking right until the dispenser is hanging on by one screw.

At that moment the principal yells "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU TWO THINK YOU'RE DOING!!??"

posted 03-26-2001 21:18            

My favorite was taking a sack of oranges to football games. The teachers thought we were great, bringing nutritious snacks to the game instead of eating the junk they served. What they didn't know was that my diabetic friend used her needles to inject vodka into those great healthy friut snacks, so by halftime we were feeling lots of school spirit.

posted 03-26-2001 22:14            

Second to that, we took this Belgian Phillipe whom we knew through Judo out drinking one night. He gets too wasted to ride his bike home and camps on our couch. When I wake up and wander into the living room, there is a MASSIVE dump between the coffee table and the couch, on which is sleeping a very peaceful Phillipe. He swore to his grave that someone must have come in, shit, and left. He did pay for the cleaning though.

Never trust fuckers named Phillipe.

posted 03-26-2001 23:13            

When I was younger and dumber, there were a few times I got so drunk I had to hold onto the carpet while lying flat on the ground so I wouldn't fall off... but I never even came close to making any worse of a urinary mess than, you know, twitchy aim. Pissing on doors, shitting on carpets? Fuck no!

posted 03-26-2001 23:59            

My goal? To get as piss drunk as possible and turn a somewhat odd and pointless event into something fun. Well.. I know sara had to drive home.. She told me so.. I then remember waking up last night around 4am and standing up to goto the bathroom and promptly falling over into the dresser..

I had fun..

posted 03-27-2001 03:55            

fen

posted 03-28-2001 00:26            

fen

Why's that, fen? Feeling the need for some fresh air and hearty laughter?

posted 03-28-2001 08:38            

quote:

---

Originally posted by fenomas:
huh? Fresh air and laughter? I don't get that at all.

---

Fresh air: that stuff you whip your dick out into.
Laughter: the sound of CandyCorn mocking your PenIs.

posted 03-29-2001 06:47            

Candy corn-
Ha ha! Terrific! Okay. fine.

fen

posted 03-29-2001 19:31            

Huh?

Try me on pizza for a tasty treat!

No, GODDAMN, that's STILL basil?

What is it with me???