posted 04-13-2001 22:07            

I went in to the doc with not one, but a LIST , of reasons why I didn't want kids.

1) I have never wanted them, never will want them and don't want to risk having them. If I did get pregnant while waiting for some imaginary minimum age limit, I would either abort or give it up.
2) I explained my life plan. My education was more important to me than anything else. I did not foresee having the financial resources for a kid until I was at least in my thirties (revised now to my 40's - yay student loans) at which point it would be pushing it to still have children, assuming I wanted them. My mom was age 32-41 when she had the kids in my family and now she and my dad are wondering if they can save enough to retire.
3) I spent my teenage years from age 11-17 babysitting my younger siblings. I had to come straight home from high school, watch the kids, make them dinner, and on some nights, put them to bed since no one else would be home until nearly 10pm. Not only that but I was not allowed to have friends over because my parents worried I wouldn't pay enough attention to the kids. However, they had friends over all the time. If they all left to go to friends' houses, I still couldn't have anyone over. So you can imagine my social life. I never dated and the friends I did have finally gave up on asking me to hang out since I always had to say no. This tiny glimpse into the potential responsibility of having children totally turned me off.
4) I was married at the time and was able to get my husband to nod his head and agree with me in front of the doc.
5) If I/we really did change our mind, adoption or foster parenting was a viable option.

Must have said something convincing or had a look in my eye that showed him I was not kidding because he approved it and I was 21. I have never regretted it for a second and now the possibility of even wanting a kid doesn't enter into my mind. It's just something other people do.

I think when you're physically able to have children, you waffle more about the what-ifs than you do if you know you can't have them. There's not a lot of point in thinking about having kids so you just don't.

And boy it's nice not having to go through "pregnancy scares" anymore.

posted 04-14-2001 04:25            

quote:

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Originally posted by Candy Corn:
A couple of disjointed thoughts/questions:
-I love how every decision a woman makes can be automatically negated by the spectre of 'raging hormones'

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:sigh:

Yes, yes, it's all about you women and your raging hormones. One couldn't possibly be talking about hormonal influences on people in general regardless of gender - why, such would be unthinkable! [F12]

quote:

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- if a 22 yr old guy wanted a vasectomy, would he be subjected to the same out-of-hand dismissal?

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In most circumstances, yes.

quote:

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-how exactly should one prove that they are rational enough to make this decision?

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::shrugs:: Good question. By trying doctor after doctor until you find one that will agree to perform the procedure on somebody that young, probably.

posted 04-14-2001 09:07            

Regarding raging hormones..

You boys have a pretty steady supply of testosterone because you need to be charged and ready for any ovulating little cutie to come your way. There's a slight fluctuation in testosterone levels, more seasonal than anything.

Girls on the other hand.. PMS comes about because progesterone suddenly drops off. Estrogen levels are already low because we ovulated about two weeks back so our hormones are a mess. Estrogen peaks right before ovulation and then suddenly drops, so that's another slightly off-kilter phase.

Does this affect more than our sexual desire? Hell yeah! Some months or in some women, it can affect our will to move, to eat, to live. We retain water, break out, want to eat anything that can't run away, want to eat nothing because the smell makes us sick, and various parts get so oversensitive it hurts to wear clothes. We get happy, sad, angry, depressed, homicidal, suicidal and horny ( , , , , , ) and can jump from one emotion to another with the slightest provocation. Add in cramps and you have one hell of a good time.

So yes, it is fair to talk about women when discussing raging hormones. Boys = always horny. Girls = see above. I'm happy to be female, since a penis is such a hilarious thing to have to carry around, but the hormones are a minor drawback.

-Bex

posted 04-14-2001 11:20            

quote:

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Originally posted by Bex:
since a penis is such a hilarious thing to have to carry around

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That is true. Mine laughs at me all the time. What's even better --- Penii make great party favors too!

posted 04-14-2001 12:13            

Party favors hmm? Are we talking detachable penii or the attached type? Either way, I want to go to one of your parties.

I'll bring the "party hats"!

posted 04-14-2001 12:24            

This sounded pretty gender-specific to me.

posted 04-14-2001 14:08            

quote:

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Originally posted by Candy Corn:
"An AWFUL lot of women really, really do change their mind about having kids in their mid to late twenties. It's not an entirely rational decision; there's a hell of a lot of hormones involved as well."

This sounded pretty gender-specific to me.

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While we were discussing tubal ligations - which are very gender-specific - more than one gender often has decisions to make about procreation.

I haven't tried personally, but I've been told most doctors won't perform a vasectomy on a male under 25 who hasn't had children.

posted 04-14-2001 18:05            

I'm no expert on the subject, but after living with my mom for the first 20 years of my life and reading her womans' magazines that always ended up in the bathroom, tubal ligation doesn't happen here very often. Birthcontol pills have such a low amount of hormones in them nowadays that MOST women don't have any problems with them, making tubal ligation almost a non-issue for them.

posted 04-15-2001 07:27            

Regarding raging hormones..

You boys have a pretty steady supply of testosterone because you need to be charged and ready for any ovulating little cutie to come your way. There's a slight fluctuation in testosterone levels, more seasonal than anything.

Girls on the other hand... (snip)

Or, to paraphrase: "I read Our Bodies, Our Selves three times, but what goes in inside your nutsack is a complete mystery to me."

On the whole tubal tiff: so, Doctors seem to be more likely to perform vasectomies than tubal ligations on youngsters. Isn't it alarmist to assume that that's because they're all misogynists, rather than because vasectomies are less dangerous and have fewer side effects? If it isn't alarmist to think that, and my suggesting it is just evidence of my tacit approval of the Steinem-hating male doctor cult, then perhaps someday women will be able to become Doctors and perform tubal ligations. And just for the sake of argument, if you think it's tough for a young woman to get a tubal, try talking a Doctor into a trepanation.

On the whole concept of women being allowed to go childless without fear of retribution and mockery: if it were more common, you'd get mocked and retributed less. The same could be said of wearing a mohawk or unicycling to work. On the one hand, if your friends argue with your decision, you just have dippy friends. Tell em to fuck off. Hey, problem solved. On the other hand, I can pretty much guarantee that you can't decide never to have any kids without your Mom crying, at least once. Unless you were a very difficult child.

posted 04-15-2001 08:56            

"The steroid hormones in the male and female have close biochemical similarities but the rhythm of their release into the bloodstream is totally different. The secretion of androgens (ie-testosterone) is not permanent. In the male, it takes place in the form of several peaks within 24 hours, reflecting the pulsatile release of pituitary gonandotropins. However, the total amount secreted is practically constant from day to day. Any seasonal fluctuations are progressive and slow."

I can also go on about the overlapping waves of spermatogenesis in the seminiferous tubules, ensuring a basically constant supply of mature sperm.

I took Reproductive Physiology in college. I've dissected penii and testicles and know quite a bit about them that you don't get in "Our Bodies, Ourselves". I realize I oversimplified things just slightly, but while your hormones (FSH mostly) vary whether or not you're getting sex, testosterone is pretty steady. It comes from the Leydig cells in the testes and very little from the adrenal glands.

Women have reproductive hormones produced by various organs/tissues. Estrogen fluctuates based on the maturity of ovarian follicles. After ovulation, that same follicle produces progesterone instead. The uterus produces prostaglandins and if pregnant, the placenta gets into the act too. A graph of female hormones has about 7 lines all fluctuating wildly over the course of a month.

The long and short of all of this? I stick by my original statement that "raging hormones" applies more to females than males.

-Bex

posted 04-15-2001 20:03            

As for my last post, it looks a little rough. I didn't mean to imply that a doctor who refuses to do a tubal is in the right; obviously, doctors should do whatever the fuck we want them to do to our bodies, up to and including assisting with suicide; I was just saying that when you make a choice that most people don't make and are going to disagree with, expect some backlash.

posted 04-15-2001 23:22            

quote:

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Originally posted by weis:
As for my last post, it looks a little rough. I didn't mean to imply that a doctor who refuses to do a tubal is in the right; obviously, doctors should do whatever the fuck we want them to do to our bodies, up to and including assisting with suicide; I was just saying that when you make a choice that most people don't make and are going to disagree with, expect some backlash.

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Yeah. That.