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Author
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Topic: Wanted: The Perfect Man
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zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 04-12-2001 20:39
   
you know i have to put my own spin on this thread.i think this is just as legitimate as every other spider story here
http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/zoo/arachnephilia.html IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
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posted 04-12-2001 21:31
hehehe? IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-12-2001 22:49
That is the most retarded story I have ever seen. I think.Certainly in the top ten.  IP: Logged |
MightyMon
s0m30n3 s3t up us the m0n
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posted 04-12-2001 23:18
God, I wish I had a huge spider cock. That would rule.------------------
Ain't that the drizzlin shits? IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 04-13-2001 05:05
That was bad.
I knew it would be bad.
But I read it all the way to the end.
I now proclaim "huge spider cock" to be the next hip new catchphrase.
IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-13-2001 10:36
Zippy,1) EWWWWWWW.
2) Sounds like the spiders in the Hobbit more than anything I would ever want to even think of in reality.
3) Like most porn, that was obviously written by a guy since it has absolutely nothing in common with normal female sexual response. Boy, if some guy scratching randomly at my clit could give me an orgasm, I'd never put on pants. -Bex
IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-13-2001 11:00
I think the guy was confusing "pussy" and "clit" with "cat" and "chin"... you can occasionally get a cat to purr just by scratching around its chin with a fingernail. IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 04-13-2001 12:48
Wher do you find that shit? Wait, I don't wanna know. Yuck. IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 04-13-2001 16:04
I think we can stop the search for the Great American Novel now, "John 2000" seems to be the new Hemingway. Rejoice!!!Personally I can't wait for part II of that piece of cra.. I mean masterpiece.
IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-13-2001 22:17
Jimbo,I realize this is ON topic (damn porn) but I have to comment. How the hell can you squish spiders? I routinely come in contact with blood, urine, poo and every other nasty thing that can come out of an animal and it doesn't bother me. But pop a spider and the yellow goo makes me extremely queasy. Plus, spiders and insects have that alarming tendency to keep moving their legs after they're dead. Ugh, I'm getting shudders just thinking about it. I'd rather have them in my house than kill them, which is why I need someone else to do it for me. I can't even watch. And you did it with your BARE HANDS? wow. -Bex IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 04-13-2001 23:28
i know no one actually asked, but ask and ye shall recieve, or something like that.part 2 is actually a lot more interesting, if you can believe that.
http://whiteshadow.pornopartners.com/zoo/arachnophilia2.html IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 04:19
quote:
Originally posted by Bex:
And you did it with your BARE HANDS? wow.
Clearly, I am all the man you'll ever need.  IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-14-2001 09:17
Jimbo,That may be true, but after seeing that lighter you bought, I'm obviously not all the man YOU'LL ever need. -Bex IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 11:49
BURN!oh wait, that was on me.  Dammit Bex, I did NOT know that lighter was gonna do that when I bought it. IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-14-2001 11:57
Jimbo,That may be, but I still have an image of you going "Hey! Bonus!", playing with it for about 20 minutes and then thinking it was neat and you had to share with the rest of us. C'mon, admit it. -Bex IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
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posted 04-14-2001 12:21
Lighter..? What happened?IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 14:10
Bex - actually my buddy PeeT (aka InThrees) stole it from me before I ever had a chance to use it, and made the discovery when HE used it (in the same room with me, before giving it back).We were both horrified - and amused, but definitely horrified. Not a bonus, except in the "now-I-have-something-to-talk-about-on-my-website" aspect. IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
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posted 04-14-2001 15:42
What happened what happened?IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-14-2001 15:59
Demon,Click here for a vid of Jimbo playing with his sissy-boy lighter. You'll see why I doubt he's the man to protect me in the shower. Jimbo, if InThrees stole it from you before you got to use it, it just says something about the guys you're hanging out with. Plus you let him give it back! I reread your post. Man, I didn't think spiders like that lived outside of the tropics. How on earth did one end up on your floor? -Bex [This message has been edited by Bex (edited 04-14-2001).] IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 16:46
I haven't got the foggiest idea how it ended up in my kitchen - I'd never seen a spider even close to that big outside of a zoo before.But if you keep making negative comments about my manhood, I'm gonna find another and put it in your underwear drawer... IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 04-14-2001 17:34
i have a comment to add regarding jimbo's manhood, which might very well be in a sock drawer somewhere in his house.anyway... that moustache man.. what's up with that? i can't quite figure out if it's supposed to be an alex trebek moustache or a porn actor moustache. can you enlighten me, jimbo? (if that's not a porn name, i dont know what is) IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 04-14-2001 17:46
I'd like you to meet my nemesis: Vespa Crabro I'm a big guy. I'm 6.5 and weigh well over 100 kilo's. But when Vespa Crabro or one of it's smaller cousins appears, I move as fast as a cheetah... and I scream like a little girl.
All of a my sluggishness is gone. My beerbelly completely ignored, I move with the agility and dexterity of a ninja to get myself to safety... -fast.
Afterwards, after (usually) the girls have chased the hornet away, I can come back. Everybody has a nice laugh at my expense and I can back to drinking my beer. Oh well. IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 18:10
Zippy, it's just a mustache man. Get some sleep. IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-14-2001 18:13
I just re-watched this video, and I think I begin to see the problem - it's dark in that video, the only light is from the monitor (and the lighter).The 'stache does not look like an enormous fuzzy black caterpillar when it is in better lighting conditions. (Try watching The Tamarind Show, linked from my front page. Much better lit.) IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
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posted 04-14-2001 18:23
Ummm.. yea... that lighter is.. umm... very.... I think I'll leave it at that. At least my lighter is cool. All brass with a dragon on it. You press the button thingy, and the top part of the lighter(a dragon head) rises up and when you let go of the button and press it again, the flame comes out of the dragon's mouth. It's a pretty decent sized flame too. IP: Logged |
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