|
Author
|
Topic: Don't you guys ever start new threads?
|
Bex
Delicate Flower
|
posted 04-16-2001 15:20
   
I got headbutted in the crotch by a hungry calf this morning. Knocked the wind out of me and almost lifted me off my feet.My first thought? "Boy I'm glad I don't have a penis or that would have REALLY hurt." Snag, you like poop? Lick my boots.  Bex
IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
|
posted 04-16-2001 16:09
Hehe. I can convert the F i received in Culinary Arts if I can do the 2 assigments, a third assignment, and change into my uniform everyday for the rest of the year, and sign a contract. So for the third assignment(which he told me to choose) will be a small(1-2 page) report on how sanitation is an important part of Culinary. It'll piss him off because he told me he gave me an F because I missed the assignments and didn't change, so didn't work except on sanitation. This'll be fun.. and I'll get to look for loopholes in his contract and then I'll revise it so it will benefit me too. IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
|
posted 04-16-2001 20:32
quote:
Originally posted by Bex:
My first thought? "Boy I'm glad I don't have a penis or that would have REALLY hurt."[/B]
The PenIs is actually pretty seriously damage-resistant, at least in its limp condition. Maybe having a hungry calf head-butt your ENGORGED penis would hurt a lot, but... um, well, I don't think I'll be encountering that particular situation anytime soon, so it's all good. Anyway, it's the TESTICLES that would have gotten you whimpering and crying like a little girl if they got tagged. There's something ironic about the factual statement "being female is the only reason you didn't whimper like a little girl..."  [This message has been edited by Jimbo (edited 04-16-2001).] IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
|
posted 04-17-2001 15:35
Jimbo,Since it hurt ME and I don't have any dangly bits, I think it would hurt a boy. Calves heads are not discriminating. If she goes butting against your "udder", you're going down. She almost took down a fence panel this morning, not long after slamming her head into a sensitive part of my chest *ahem* while I was leaning over her. She butts so hard her front feet leave the ground. Gah, I love my job. -Bex IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
|
posted 04-17-2001 19:53
that's the real reason women want to have large chests, you know. not to attract guys or anything nearly that vain... oh no. women want to have large chests so that in the case of a calf head butting accident, nothing vital would be damaged.i guess the same principal applies in car accidents. i wonder if large breasts are a step up on the evolutionary ladder as protection devices. maybe in a few hundred years everyone will have large breasts, guys included. wouldnt that be something?
"hey bob, mind if a play with your tits there for a while? mine are sensitive today" IP: Logged |
Candy Corn
PenIsite
|
posted 04-17-2001 21:21
They're not airbags, zippy........IP: Logged |
Q!
Neophyte Pen
|
posted 04-17-2001 22:34
Mmmm. Breasts.IP: Logged |
fenomas
argument nazi
|
posted 04-17-2001 22:57
Bex- what exactly is your job?-fen IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
|
posted 04-18-2001 00:05
fen, dont ask questions you're not prepared to hear the answer for. while i've got fen on the line... the princess is pregnant?? japan has a royal family? wtf??anyway, no, they're certainly not airbags. airbags arent nearly as fun to play with.
i saw a breast reduction on TLC tonight... man, that was disturbing. the way they stapled the woman's breasts after they cut out 6 pounds of fat was just scary. luckily, i had a pair of normal beautiful breasts near by to distract me IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
|
posted 04-18-2001 07:40
Say, what is this gay sex thing that Mightymon is always telling me about? Is it a new type of fad? Is it contagious? Is it addictive? Will it help me lose weight? I mean... he talked me into smoking once and that was a mistake. I'd hate to find out that this new "gay sex" thing he's so excited about was a nasty, socially unacceptable (and bad tasting) habit too. -Chris IP: Logged |
MightyMon
s0m30n3 s3t up us the m0n
|
posted 04-18-2001 10:45
My semen tastes like pineapple. Any takers?------------------
Ain't that the drizzlin shits? IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
|
posted 04-18-2001 11:12
Fen, I'm a vet tech. Zippy, breasts are bad. I want tiny little ones. In trying to get that self-same calf to stay in her pen instead of following me through the gate, I pushed her back with one knee while using my arm to slam the gate (mainly the part with a 2 inch metal flange on it) on my left "airbag". If that's what a mammogram feels like, I'll pass thanks. And you should try jogging with these things. Gah. Mighty Mon, if you came in chocolate flavor, I'd consider it. -Bex IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
|
posted 04-18-2001 19:45
bex - i've had experience with all sizes, and while small ones do have some advantages, nice big round ones are tops. which is good i guess, because most jewish girls around here dont come in any models under a C cup. as for wishing you had little ones, you could always get a breast reduction, but then you'd have to go through the same thing that lady on The Operation went on, and that's no good. just double-bag 'em with a sports bra. that works for any size. IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
|
posted 04-18-2001 19:51
quote:
Originally posted by zippy:
which is good i guess, because most jewish girls around here dont come in any models under a C cup.
After all, they are god's Chosen People.  IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
|
posted 04-18-2001 19:55
damn skippy jimbo.
and stop posting right after me. you're messing me up by popping threads to the top, damn it. bex - they're not airbags, they're funbags. so soft, warm.... mmmmmm.
damn, i've gosh darn gone and done it again. mommmmmy! IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
|
posted 04-19-2001 01:21
I must admit, there are certain advantages to having small breatss. I can run 2.5 miles in 15 minutes, without getting any black eyes. I have never shut one in a calf pen. They are still in the same place they were in before I had children. I think that's the best part. Yeah, that's the best part. IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
|
posted 04-19-2001 07:20
Having elaphantine sized testicles, however, is a major disadvantage.Besides the expected troubles of not having any pants that fit, or occasionally sitting on them like they were bean bag chairs, there are some unexpected disadvantages too. For example:
Did you know that having oversized, 10 pound testicles has an almost direct effect on your sex drive? Its true! Unfortunately its damn near impossible to satisfy those urges when your scrotum is dragging on the floor. ...and if I hear the old joke "Is that a scrotum in your pocket or are you just happy to see me" ONE MORE TIME.... sigh. Anyway, be careful with your zippers. -Chris IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
|
posted 04-19-2001 07:52
My mom's BF was a pilot in Mozambique a few years ago.
He has some great pics of a guy with a 10-pound nutsack. His 10 year old grandson carried his nutsack for him.
IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
|
posted 04-19-2001 10:11
Yeah if you want to appear well-hung, pick up a raging case of elephantiasis. That's a parasitic infection causing all that size, not a whopping pair of studly testicles. My parasitology textbook has some LOVELY photos of it.Actually here is a lovely photo I found after a quick search. And here is another. I forgot what else I was going to say because I tripped upon a site that had an ad for an "ass-cam". I swear. Oh and a picture of some poor guys dangly bits after he flew from a car and smashed his crotch on a post. :shudder: Gotta love the internet! -Bex IP: Logged |
UBBFriend: Email This Page to Someone!
PenIs Forum
