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Author
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Topic: Hospital stories
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Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 04-15-2001 19:28
   
In response to Zippy's question on had anyone been hit on by a nurse?My answer....
Way back when I was doing security in the local hospital, there was a nurse that ALWAYS wanted to follow me around. (Mind you, I am also female)
It was among my duties to patrol the floors to look for fire hazards, obstetrics being the main focus. That is where Nurse "Betty" worked. I always wondered if she worked there cause of the babies, or so she could see pussy all day... Who knows.
It was like she was always looking for me, had a big smile for me everytime I walked through, and more often than not wanted to go smoke with me, only she didn't smoke. She SAYS it was an excuse to "get away for a few minutes". Always hunted me down before her shift started "just to say hi"
Even one of the men in the engineering department noticed it.
I still think it was the uniform 
At least she was pretty. [This message has been edited by Amazon (edited 04-15-2001).] IP: Logged |
Demon-of-Elru
TFC Bitch
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posted 04-15-2001 19:54
I haven't been hit on by a nurse.. but when I went to the hospital around 4 I REALLY wanted to hit some nurses. Really fucking hard too...IP: Logged |
weis
bonzi buddy
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posted 04-15-2001 20:09
I've had inpatient surgery twice in the last year. I can say that I am quite glad none of the nurses I had hit on me, as they were pretty scary (I still have catheter-related nightmares). If I had had some sort of Jenna Jameson-esque nurse, four hours after surgery, I'm pretty sure I couldn't have done anything about it. I did once have a female doctor stick her finger in my ass, and looking back, it seems like her reason for doing it was pretty thin. But hey, what the hell, I had fun, and all she got was a broken finger. ------------------
With proper thrust, pigs fly just fine.
--RFC 1925 IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 04-15-2001 20:14
i dont think i would like a finger in my ass, whether the nurse is hot or not.i do regret not accepting the offer for a sponge bath from some of my prettier nurses the last time i was in a hospital. i realize that it's part of their job, but it still could have been fun. i was 17 in a children's hospital, so i think the nurse was just itchin' for someone who's a tad more mature than the average 12 year old, but she had to settle with me. i remember watching some horror movie on tv with her in my room late one night. that was kinda fun. man, i was a prude back then. IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 04-15-2001 23:19
So far, despite six years of military service, I've somehow managed to avoid ever having a medical professional anally violate me.But when one day it does inevitably have to happen, IT WILL BE A FEMALE WHO DOES SO. I really, really don't understand guys who can't handle the idea of a woman doing that... I mean, if ANYBODY's gonna do it, it's damn sure NOT gonna be a man. Yuck! Besides, women have much slimmer fingers.  IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-15-2001 23:30
Difficult for me to have the hots for nurses since they tend to be female.I did have a really hot male OB/Gyn once. That is NOT something you want though. -Bex IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-16-2001 00:01
I found this funny story about someone else's experience with nurses and hospitals.There's also a hilarious post about online dating services there too. But I digress. And we all know how much eod hates that. -Bex IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 04-16-2001 01:00
I have had some hellish experiences with nurses, I won't go into detail, but it was during the birth of my oldest daughter. I was in labor for well over 72 hours, in a Catholic hospital. You all know my stance on organized religion, so let's just say it wasn't pretty. The doctor who was supposed to deliver my oldest was hot, he was an Army Captain, about 29 years old, and way too cute to be poking around down there with my husband holding my hand. Thankfully, he was called to overseas duty before I went into labor and replaced with a fatherly guy in his 50's. ------------------
~Bitch~ IP: Logged |
skeeter
PenIsite
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posted 04-16-2001 06:12
The summer between the sixth and seventh grade I was struck by a car while doing my paper route. I was rushed to the county hospital and it seems after thousands of x-rays later it was determined the only damage was a broken right femur. Well, they wheel me to my room and directly along comes the doctor and several male orderlies with a traction device. The male orderlies grasp me under the arms, one on each side, and the doctor grabs my leg and commences to pull with all his might, and I began screaming at the top of my lungs. In the middle of all this along comes this little old lady from down the hall , suffering from some sort of dementia,and directly behind her was two nurses trying to get her out of the room.
As they was pulling her kicking and screaming from the room she was yelling @ the top of her lungs "leave me alone,I know that boy, aint a damn thing wrong with that boy he just needs a good switchin" .I still have nightmares . IP: Logged |
Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-16-2001 09:26
I was in the hospital once because I fell when I was 10 and fractured a vertebra. When it happened, I passed out in front of my dad and then my arms went stiff. Everyone seemed to think I had hit my head, even though I told them many times I had landed on my butt. My feet slid out from under me and I fell straight down. (I still panic walking on ice sometimes. And I live in WI)So anyway, to check for brain damage, they decided to run an EEG on me. For some reason, the person doing this seemed to think scraping the skin off various parts of my skull would get the electrodes closer to my brain and thus give a better reading. She had this sharp little tool that she used to scrape various parts of my scalp and EARLOBES. Of course, this hurt like a bitch and I was already in a bad mood. By the end I was screaming. My mom came back from the cafeteria around that time and had no idea why I was so upset. Fortunately for me, I fell asleep while they were recording my brain waves. If I hadn't, they were going to have to do it again. (!) I was picking bloody glue from the electrodes out of my hair for about a week afterwards. Bah. -Bex
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Bex
Delicate Flower
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posted 04-16-2001 09:37
Another hospital story..I was in for bronchitis and had to have an IV. Now, I've had enough IV's and blood draws to know my own veins pretty well. Basically, I have lovely looking veins in the crooks of my elbows, but they suck ass for IV's. I mean really, they're useless. So this nurse comes in to put in an IV and I told her about my bad veins. She ignored me, decided they looked good and started poking. A nice hematoma formed and the catheter was a no go. So she tried the other arm. She got the catheter in but after half an hour, it failed and had to come out. So then she started putting them in the backs of my hands. I think the best one lasted about 12 hours. Then she had to use the veins halfway up my forearms. By the time I was able to leave, I had huge purple bruises and swollen hematomas up both arms from my hands to my elbows. I looked like I had been beaten. The other fabulous part of that stay was that it was a teaching hospital (like on ER). I had about 8 different doctors, and at least once a day, a herd of med students would come in and stand at the foot of my bed while the head doctor discussed my case with them. I felt like an illustration in a medical journal. -Bex IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 04-17-2001 22:37
Bex, for future reference, you CAN tell them to get out.
I would.IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 04-18-2001 23:58
That reminds me of the wierdest thing I ever heard from a nurse. For those of you who haven't had children, the worst part of childbirth is not actually giving birth to the baby. I didn't have any drugs, but the pain of childbirth was masked with an incredible adrenaline rush, and lots of numbness from having a lot of pressure where normally there would be none. The worst part is delivering the placenta, which happens a few minutes after the baby is born and all of the adrenaline goes away, but wait, don't stop pushing yet! After that hellish experience I hear the nurse say 'Wow, that is a beautiful placenta! I haven't seen a cord that fat in ages! Do you mind if we use this in the Lamaze class this afternoon?' Yuck. Just yuck. IP: Logged |
Amazon
Anal Amazon,
Assaulter of Men
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posted 04-19-2001 08:35
Beautiful placenta and fat cord?EEEEEEWWWWWW!!!!!!! IP: Logged |
nuentoter
Hey look at me I got arrested for selling warez......... SIKE!! I'm a sneaky fuck
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posted 04-20-2001 21:41
only times i have gone to the hospital was i broke my collar bone snowboarding, that was a mess.
i break my collar bone but i didnt really notice it, it was just a dull pain i thought it was a bruised shoulder. so i went snowboarding for another hour or so and i finally went in when i started to feel sick, i then realized that my shoulder was broken when i started feeling it and comparing it to my other one. i go to the hospital and am in a sling for 4 months and drugged outta my mind for 2.
then the summer following i am swimming with a couple friends and we are jumping into this set of rapids off these rocks and i end up jumping just right so that my body gets wrenched one way but my arm gets pulled the other with extreme force and gets pulled out of socket and around my body so that my elbow is resting ontop of my other shoulder.
this is the same arm i broke. so i goto the hospital and i sit there for an hour with my arm dangling out of socket then the doc comes and has them take x-rays. the ball of my arm is sitting on top of my rib cage, so he then says' i guess we'll give you something for that, by this time i had passed out once during x-rays.
so he gives my valium and morphine, well come to find out im allergic to morphine my whole arm breaks out in huge painful welts, so he decides it must be the arm so he gives me another shot in the other arm of morphine..the then says to brace myself and to not force and that this will hurt. he grabs my wrist, braces himself against the bed and yanks my arm down then pushes it into place
that sucked
and no nurses jsut the moronic doc
ahhh i hate hospitals IP: Logged |
Miri
PenIs Virgin
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posted 04-21-2001 01:12
WOW!
you all have such more horrible hospital stories than I do! You put me to shame.
I was 4 and getting my adenoids out. I have a little birthmark in the center of my hand, right on top of bone. When they gave me the needle to put me to sleep, that's exactly where they stuck it in. I remember watching in horror, I remember screaming out in pain, I remember crying...and then I passed out and had the freakiest dreams which I also still remember. The next thing I knew I was awake and still crying about them giving me the shot in my hand. Bastards! :-)
And you know what the worst thing of all is? No one ever gave me ice cream or popsicles as promised after such an operation....AND (oh yes, there is an AND here!) on the way home my parents convinced me that the doctors said that to get better and ease the pain I had to eat oatmeal, not ice cream, not even jello....OATMEAL!
hmm, maybe my story is worse after all? IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 04-21-2001 20:38
all i have to say is this... cold speculums suck harder than an anteater on viagra. IP: Logged |
Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 04-22-2001 03:16
But sitz baths fucking rock. Especially when they have the little whirlpool thingy.IP: Logged |
Lots42
unregistered
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posted 04-27-2001 18:13
The day after graduating I went in to get my tonsils out. There really wasn't a horror story aspect to it. Just a bunch of weird shit. Somehow I was convinced I was stripped naked for the procedure against my will. (I wasn't). My tonsils were the largest anyone ever saw. This caused quite a stir amongst the hospital and everyone came to see me.At once. So quite naturally I ended up, via a notebook system, telling the ringleader I needed to pee when I really wanted to see my mutant tonsils. And I had to get shots in my butt. IP: Logged | |
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