posted 04-19-2001 16:41            

This only works if they have pirated software of course..but who doesn't??

Click for examples

-Chris

posted 04-19-2001 17:37         

quote:

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Originally posted by thirteen:
get various shallow dishes...dip containers work well...piss into it, freeze it...then drop the piss puck out, and slide it under the door, in the morning a puddle of piss is left on the floor....that one is always fun

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posted 04-19-2001 17:41            

Get crazy glue. Insert into keyholes for locks on personal lockers, etc. If you're a real bastard, do it to their car locks.

Also in the real_bastard + fuck_with_car category, Karo syrup in the gas tank is HARDCORE - probably won't "blow up the motor" like sugar in the gas did in the Dukes of Hazzard, but it'll damn sure gum up the fuel filter hardcore enough the car won't start.

Saran wrap over the toilet bowl is entertaining and juvenile.

Dunno if this will work in your dorm or not - but in somebody's apartment, get at the air filter for their central heat and air while they're not looking. Dump something extremely stinky BEHIND the filter and replace the filter and grate.

Take a dump in their toilet TANK - not in the bowl, in the tank. It'll take them a WHILE to figure out why that damn fecal stench just won't dissipate.

Put a small amount of peanut butter in a plastic bag. Wait for the opportunity to go to their bathroom / go into the nearest bathroom at the same time as them. "Find" a wad of toilet paper with your peanut butter smeared on it on the floor / in a stall. Say "oh, gross! Is this real?" and sniff the wad of toilet paper, getting a small dab of peanut butter smeared on the tip of your nose - make horrendous gagging noises. If your delivery is good, you can get some people to actually blow chunks at the sight of this one.

If your victim drinks heavily, wait til one night they go out drinking. Get into their dorm room, and disassemble their bed. (Steel or aluminum tube construction, bolted together, right?) Reassemble it in the bathroom, preferably suspended from the ceiling.

For the less creatively minded, just steal the mattress and leave the frame and springs.

For the more vindictive (and the REALLY drunken victim) sew them into their sheets after they pass out. Use 50-lb test fishing line for best results. (This also works excellently if you're camping - most tents nowadays have three zippers that meet in the center, wire them together with high-test fishing line or actual wire and they can't get out of the tent.)

Alternately - also only for extremely drunken victims - just sew their boxers to the sheets.

Also for drunken victims - purchase or otherwise acquire a dildo or vibrator. Smear fudge or peanut butter on it. Gently, gently press it into the victim's hand while they're passed out - most hardcore-passed-out people will instinctively shift their hand and grip whatever you put in it while they're passed out. Give them a chance to get comfortable holding the fudged dildo, then photograph.

If your victim wears dark colored underwear, try liberally dosing the inside of a pair or two with cayenne pepper.

If your dorm has large room numbers on each door, swap the numbers on your victim's door with someone else's.

Simply removing the door entirely is good for some serious rage.

Installing a doggy-door is good for some confusion.

If the door has a peephole, remove it and reinstall it facing the other way. (If you can get a grip on it, most peepholes are simply screwed together - get a good grip on either side and turn counterclockwise and they should begin unscrewing.)

Pull the faceplate off of their light switch and hard wire it on. Reinstall the faceplate.

Purchase a remote control for electric lights from X10.com - install the control box on their dorm lights. Keep the remote control. (If you're a real bastard, do it to their computer instead of their lights.)

The above trick used in conjunction with a hidden space heater in July or August is also devastatingly effective.

posted 04-19-2001 18:46            

Does that visine thing really work?

You da man!

posted 04-19-2001 21:27            

if they are in a frat house this works great,
go into their shower and unscrew the head, insert a whole roll of life savers.
when they goto take a shower they will slowly melt and produce sugar water haha. they will get all sticky and hopefully will try to wash it off haha

also goto the nearby convenience store and buy some dry ice and like 4 cans of shaving cream,
get into their car (buy a slim jim at vip for 3.99) and put a bucker on their seat, place the dry ice in it the cans of shaving cream, top side up. they will expand and blow up. 4 cans fills a 2 door car ok.

get into their room and change the lock

get into their dorm and slide under the bed and take out as much as you can, every bolt and nut and take out wooden supports if they have them

if the get home drunk one night go into their room and simply shit on their chest.

posted 04-19-2001 22:45            

We used to cocoon people to chairs, then tape them upside down to the supports in the ceiling, all sorts of crazy shit.

Using machine bluing to "bluenose" and even "blueball" people was popular too - and if you were on a crazy enough boat and you met some girl you really liked and were getting ready to go out on a second or third date with her, you had to be careful that you didn't get "pigpiled" by ten or fifteen guys with one of them nuts enough to give you HICKEYS just so you'd have to try to explain to this chick "uh, the guys on the boat gave me that..."

posted 04-19-2001 23:30            

the military then said it was just pudding, but no one believes that. i have friends in the army reserves that told me that detachment is absolutly vile, and it most likley was runny shit they were cramming down the throats of their brothers-in-arms.

posted 04-20-2001 01:22           

quote:

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Originally posted by Der Senfmeister:
If there are air conditioning vents in the person's room, you can take them off and hide a package of seafood in there.

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Limburger cheese is a better route. You can smear it, and the smell will never leave.

posted 04-20-2001 01:47           

Sneak into their room whilst they are away and place their undergarments into a bowl of water and place that in the freezer.

On the same lines, acquire some Icy-Hot and apply it to the least desireable spots on their unused undergarmants.

Jam a nice big potato into their tailpipe. Then slide off the excess.

Coat their gearshifts with KY jelly.

Report their car stolen.

Steal their coil wire.

Put half a cup of vinegar into their coffee pot resivoirs.

Pour talcum powder onto the floor in front of the crack at the bottom of their door. Blow it in with a hair dryer.

Stand outside their door with a stun gun. When ever the knob starts to turn, zap it.

Sprinkle ground beef into the least accessable places in their room. Can we say maggot infestation?

Disconnect the cooling fan on their processor.

Break one pin on each of his/her cables.

posted 04-20-2001 11:28            

If this doesn't work, do the same thing, only with cement! Don't forget to sign your work as another enemy!

Or best of all: Get them wasted, do funny things to them whilst passed out, take pictures and post them all over the dorm. 200 copies would be excellent. Place them in really good places, so that they will still be finding them when they move out or clean.

Just a few suggestions

posted 04-20-2001 13:39            

In a room with a ceiling-mounted vent fan - which the RCs had, but in civilian life think "bathroom fartgrabber" - you first take a three hole punch and mangle the jesus out of as much paper as humanly possible so as to amass a big big collection of "dit dots" (the paper that was where the holes are now).

posted 04-20-2001 23:28            

[This message has been edited by nuentoter (edited 04-20-2001).] (spelling)

[This message has been edited by nuentoter (edited 04-20-2001).] (image not working)

fuckhgfasyoudgbnaj

posted 04-21-2001 01:11         

for shower pranks, someone in my dorm once realized that they had left an almost full pot of spaghetti in the kitchen overnight. upon finding it in the morning, they proceeded to carry it down to the shower and throw it over the curtain at sammer, the resident butt of jokes.

the most heinous thing ever done to sammer was not a prank so much as just his roommate's friends being drunk. sammer had gone out for the evening and his roommate had some friends over drinking. at some point, someone really had to piss but could not seem to find the door so they needed a second choice. around 1:30 in the morning when sammer returned and most of the party had left or passed out, a shriek was heard throughout the fourth floor: who pissed in my fucking drawers!?!?"

you may wish to repeat, minus the accidental part.

if you do manage to get someone drunk, pretty much anything is possible. in addition to what has already been written, you could try the classic permenant marker scrawled all over the body or the variation of the vibrator prank posted earlier with some (probably also drunk) guy's penIs in place of the vibrator.

also be aware that you don't actually have to get someone drunk to get amusing pictures of them. photoshop is your friend. works best with gay porn and if the fakes are either really well or really poorly done.

posted 04-21-2001 02:50           

Steal said prank-butt's various binders and urinate on them.

Steal and sell said prank-butt's books at the bookstore.

Confiscate all of said prank-butt's flatware.

Urinate in all of said prank-butt's glasses and leave them standing.

Acquire 42 aromatic candles and leave them all burning in said prank-butt's sink.

Pour one full bottle of NoDoz into the resivoir of their coffee makers.

Scrawl various Manson-esque messages on their walls in brown tinged red water colors.

Release several large garter snakes into their rooms.

Add Skoal to their coffee supply.

Replace their cologne with straight rubbing alchohol.

Talk to them in three word sentences only.