posted 04-27-2001 15:27            

I ask because I had a highly confusing conversation this morning.

I came home from work and my sweetie was sleeping. I tried to talk to him and he started babbling about how he was "more attractive than the keyboard." When I asked him what it meant, he told me he had gone to a website to find video drivers for someone and followed three links.

I asked what these links were and what it had to do with me wanting a quick snuggle. He starts explaining how I had clicked on them just 10 minutes before and he knew it was me because it came from the same IP address and I should know. And I tried to explain how I hadn't even been on the computer and he explains about how it is right there on the message board. It was just posted 10 minutes ago!

Well, he's been asleep for ages and I've been home for 5 minutes so I am obviously perplexed. When I try to ask what he is talking about, he gets highly irate and seemingly completely awake. He starts diagramming for me how clicking on a link takes you to a site. "You click on the link HERE, and you go to a site HERE. All of these links are sites, this is so obvious!"

Then he flops over, stops talking and seems to go back to sleep. In the meantime, I am utterly confused and still without my snuggle.

I later found out what was going on in his mind. I was a link. His pillow was a link. And our conversation was actually a message board.

Is it just me or am I dating a cyborg?

posted 04-27-2001 15:51            

This has been a problem of mine for quite some time. It seems to happen more often when I take a cold medication the night before, such as Nyquil. Antihistamines REALLY fuck me up, even the non-drowsy ones. At times I have been known to answer the phone while still half asleep and babble nonsense to telemarketers. I think once I signed up for AT&T by mistake.

One morning alone, (while under the influence of anti-histamines) I answered the phone on at least four separate occasions. Three of these were wrong numbers or telemarketers, who eventually hung up confused. The fourth one was my (extremely lovely) Girlfriend. I remember she wanted to ask me some questions and all I could seem to talk about was "The hardtop fighters on the purple chalkboards." She insisted that I explain myself, and I became indignant. Eventually she hung up and I went back to sleep for another two hours. As soon as I woke up I immediately masturbated called her and apologized.

Of course, If I could remember any of them, I would bring up things that Bex has said in her sleep as well. I remember being quite amused and holding extensive conversations. For the record, she also becomes indignant if you dont understand what she says while asleep.

posted 04-27-2001 16:02            

When I was still living at home, I had a classical guitar hanging on the wall. A lot of nights I woke up to a strange humming sound coming from that guitar.

posted 04-27-2001 16:47            

Also, apparently last night I discovered a newfound talent....that's right the first man to snore AND grind my teeth at the same time.

No applause please.

posted 04-27-2001 18:41            

I had a LAN at my house once and one of my friends was asleep, and me and my other friend heard him say something. So we asked him, and he told us that him and Phil bought a house and needed to protect it....

posted 04-28-2001 11:35         

I often have the barrier between dream world and real world break down, but I don't often have conversations with anyone.

Two instances come to mind. The first one was today's. Pushing the substance of the dream aside, both my roomate and I were sleeping in and I suddenly mumbled out "MOM!" I realized what I was doing and said "what the fuck?". After some analyzation, I remembed that I was only dreaming that the house was on fire

Second instance is far more amusing. I was studying for finals last year and hadn't slept for about 36 hours. According to my best friend Jay, I held a 10 minute AOL Instant Messenger conversation with him. I don't recall any of it. Apparently he just assumed that I was high on something and let my odd behavior slide (I kept on asking him if he was at the Battle of Badon Hill, and why the cheese danish keep attacking my pants, among other things.) I dont think I was alseep, but some part of my brain had the switch on "off".

posted 04-29-2001 00:13            

Me, I occasionally talk in my sleep AND snore (not at the same time).
I remember one time, my then boyfriend came in to tell me something and he swore i said something like "OK, but did you put the files away?" (I am a file clerk)

I also remember something that happened when I was 7. I heard a cool joke, so went into my sleeping mother's bedroom to tell it to her:

Me: Mom, I just heard a funny joke!
Mom: What is it?
Me: What's Dracula's address?
Mom: I don't know.
Me: 1122 Boogie Boogie Avenue.
Mom: You be careful.

Used to date another guy that talked in his sleep all the time.
I can't recall anything in particular, but I remember it being some really weird shit.

posted 04-30-2001 11:05            

this one time when i was younger i woke up in the middle of the night really cold. i realized that my blanket wasn't on me so i figured that i must have kicked it off. i felt around at the end of the bed and on the floor...even in the space between my bed and the wall. no blanket. so i turned on the light, looked around...still no blanket. i was half asleep though so i figured i just wasn't seeing things right and i would find it in the morning. i went back to sleep and shivered through the rest of the night. when i woke up in the morning however, there was still no blanket anywhere in my room. now you have to understand, i'm not talking about a baby "blankie" here, nor am i even talking about a regular comforter...i sleep with this massive russian blanket. it's huge and heavy and absolutely impossible to just lose. i asked everyone if they knew where my blanket was. i was actually even convinced that my dad came in and played a joke on me in the middle of the night. but alas, still no blanket. i spent the whole day thinking about where my blanket could have disappeared to but couldn't come up with any good answers aside from my house being haunted and ghosts taking it away. finally it was time for bed again, but i still had no blanket. i went down to the basement to pull out an extra blanket and right on the couch was MY blanket, perfectly folded and all. to this day i have no clue how on earth it got there because i cant quite fold it so well and carry it down to flights of stairs now in the daylight let alone when i was 9 in the middle of the night.

posted 04-30-2001 13:59            

well, the ones that i can remember anyway. i seem to have way too many late night, semi-lucid conversations with her. the latest one involved 10 foot tall axe wielding midgets. very strange indeed.

i have weird dreams too sometimes. one such dream that i will never forget happened a short while before i moved back to school. the house i was moving into had a new housemate that i was looking forward to meeting. i've been told that he was a big fellow, over 6' tall and such. in my dream, i walk into the house and turn into the room that the new housemate will occupy. there, i look down and see a midget (again with those midgets). he has a beard though, and looks middle aged. he reaches up to me with his pudgy hand and takes my hand in his. then he opens his mouth and says "follow me" in a 3 year old child's voice.

i cant stress how weird it is to see the image of a midget with a beard holding your hand and telling you to follow him while sounding like a small child. that dream is almost as weird as my gay nazi prison dream, but we'll save that one for another time.

posted 04-30-2001 23:16            

but i do remember one time waking up sitting in my computer chair sideways with my head resting on my comp table, but i looked at my bed and it was unmade and i HAD gone to bed in it. kinda strange, but sorry no midgets