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Author
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Topic: Just tie a knot in it... it should fit then.
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Clme
cake fiend
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posted 05-16-2001 01:01
   
Regarding This post:
Someone was ranting about condoms today and it made me remember something that happened a few months ago. While stocking some product in an area close to the condom display (Its in view of many people due to the frequency of condom theft) a man comes up to me and we have the following conversation.
Man: Hey, man. Where do you keep the condoms?
Me: Right over there sir, on the end of that aisle.
(5 minutes pass while he closely examines every box)
Man: (whispered) Yo... You got anything smaller than these?
Me: Er.. there really isn't anything smaller...
It was at this point I stopped and thought about what I was going to say. You see, the man was inquiring wether we had any smaller packages, not smaller condoms. It took me a minute to figure this out.
Me: I mean... um... we dont have anything smaller than those 10-packs there.
Man: Oh, you see... I wasn't looking for a relationship here, I just wanted a few so I could take her around the block you see.
Me: Silence.
I hate people.
This also started me thinking about common (and not so common) misunderstandings. I was wondering if anyone has ever misunderstood (or been misunderstood) in such a way that we could point an laugh. It sure as hell would make me feel better about almost accusing a guy of having a small penis. -Chris IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 05-16-2001 05:25
Dude, I think the guy probably DID have a small penis. "Um, I only need one, 'cause after she sets eyes on this pitiful little thing she definitely isn't gonna let me put it in her again."Your most appropriate response would have been "Sir, we don't serve your kind here. Might I suggest a veterinarian's office?" The amazing thing to me is not so much that he only wanted to bang her once, but that he considered the price difference between $1.50 for a single condom and $12.00 or so for a dozen to be that big a fuckin' issue... jesus man, buy in bulk and keep the rest for your next little "round the block jaunt." IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 05-16-2001 11:27
Maybe he just didn't want to waste money because he knew condoms expire after three years or so.IP: Logged |
nuentoter
Hey look at me I got arrested for selling warez......... SIKE!! I'm a sneaky fuck
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posted 05-17-2001 19:46
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Clme
cake fiend
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posted 05-28-2001 13:00
wait wait wait!Condoms expire? Only three years?
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LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 05-28-2001 13:18
clme:Yes they do. On durex the date is printed on the wrapper. I was one of those kids that had a condom in his wallet for 4 years. I opened it and it was all hard and crusty.  IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 05-30-2001 06:35
Man, that cartoon is wack - those damn things do NOT unroll to the base that easily in real life.IP: Logged |
Clme
cake fiend
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posted 06-09-2001 01:16
Want to know something ironic:Guess what gets stolen with even more frequency than condoms? (though still not as much as cigarettes) . . . . . . Give up? Pregnancy tests.
Ironic isn't it.
-Chris IP: Logged |
Sammy The Condom
unregistered
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posted 01-12-2002 00:02
I'm only 3 and a half years old...IP: Logged |
StickyLoad
Great Gobs of Cream
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posted 01-12-2002 00:36
If you only needed one or two condoms, why wouldn't you purchase them at the sleazy bar you were at in the bathroom?Honest to god, there is a bar in town here called the Last Chance Bar. Only in Wisconsin. Never been there, but I heard jumper hangs there. [This message has been edited by StickyLoad (edited 01-12-2002).] IP: Logged |
xclusive069
drooling cretin
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posted 01-12-2002 01:35
either way id still end up eating it,no matter how old...
hellthere was a brownie stuck in the back of the cuppard the other day
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i ate it IP: Logged |
Dave
Almighty lord of relevant links
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posted 01-12-2002 04:22
Even though it's Florida, it's South FL, so there's a minimum of fuxx0r3d accents, since we're not in the deep south (though we get our fair share of Southerners). Last night at the hotel, checking in someone and I could have sworn they asked: "Do ya'll have opium?"I did a double take and said "What? Opium?" He wanted oatmeal.
...then there was the slavic stewardess who kept asking me for a wedding machine. I kept asking her what she meant in front of everyone, finally one of the other flight crew members said "a vending machine" and I was like "OOOOOH". V is not a hard letter to pronounce, dammit.
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"I steal teeth from kittens to make necklaces for Satan." IP: Logged |
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