posted 05-28-2001 20:11            

You can upload at 1mb/second... but you only have a P90?

Wow... Hussain is the only person left in North America that I can gloat over because of my 'superior' machine.

Of course, I dont have a cable modem... hrm.

-Chris

Oh... Is it the modem that caps uploads or is it the server to which you are connected? Just curious.

posted 05-29-2001 00:28            

Since we paid the same as suckers with the lame internal dsl modem, but got 640k down, qwest had to give in to the internal modem bitchers and had to upgrade everyone from 256k to 640k.

After a few calls to some of my fellows in the industry we now have an amazing down and upstream on our @home connection. The fastest download we've had is 1600 on a single threaded download, and numerous high speed multi threaded downloads. We see around 1000k up on single threaded uploads.

posted 05-29-2001 09:00            

-I've opened winipcfg (VERY important this, this shows that you have win85/898, which is the only thing they support) and tried to get a new lease on my IP address
-The block-sync light on the cablemodem is off
-I powered off my cablemodem for two minutes, and then plugged it in again, after which I tried winipcfg again. Still no go.

posted 05-29-2001 10:36            

After the reinstall came the inevitable hooking up of the internet connection. I asked him for the sheet that should have had his DNS settings on it. He handed me a wrinkled invoice with a few (seemingly) random numbers circled.

It turns out that the installer hadn't actually written down any of the info that he needed... In fact, the info the installer had written down was apparently completely wrong. The boxes for the info on the invoice was mysteriously blank.

So... we get on the phone. After 45 minutes of listening to recorded ads for last months pay per view movies I get in touch with a woman who apparently had never actually set up @home successfully. Here is the conversation as well as I remember it. It was much worse in real life, of course.

Me:"Yeah, hello. I need the gateway and DNS settings for a machine I just did a reinstall on."

Tier1"Ok... Can I get your account information please?"

Me:"Uh... Ok. *gives account info*

Tier1"Ok. Can you look at the cable modem for me? Its should be an upright box somewhere between your computer and the cable hookup."

Me:"Yes. Its right in front of me"

Tier1"Can you tell me what model it is please?"

Me: *gives model number*

Tier1 "Oh... um. Great. Another one thats not on my lists. Um... are there lights on the front of it?"

Me: "Yes, It says that it is online and hooked up... I just need the DNS and gateway info."

Tier1: "Ok... Turn it off and wait 5 minutes.... Now turn it back on. Did all the lights come on? Oh.. wait a few minutes and see if they do. Ok. Now reboot your computer. *I'm put on hold for 5 minutes* Did that work? No? Can you go to the start menu, then settings and control panel? Then find the "network" button and click on it twice, rapidly."

Me: "Ok. Now we're getting somewhere."

Tier1: "Ok.. can you read me everything that it shows in the window under 'the following components are installed'?"

Me: *reads list, that includes the NIC card and appropriate protocols*

Tier1: "Ok.. Um.. go to add.. and then.. um.. protocol. Yeah, do that. Now click on 'Microsoft'.. can you read what it lists there?"

Me: *confused, I read the list anyway*

Tier1: "Ok.. Um. Click on 'fast infrared protocol'"

Me: "Um.. isn't that for infrared networks? I dont think cable modems use infrared."

Tier1: "Ok... um... have you clicked on it yet?"

Me: "er.. no."

Tier1: "Ok. Let me know when you click on it."

Me: *gives in and clicks on it*

Tier1: "Alright. Now click ok and reboot."

Me: "Ok..." *machine reboots* "Still no connection.

Tier1: "Is the @home software installed?"

Me: "You mean the horrible browser and special 'help' features? Yes."

Tier1: "Um... I have to transfer you to someone else."

Me: "quel suprise"

Tier1: "um.. what?"

*I get put on hold for 15 more minutes*
Then a man picks up. I'm still at tier one, but now with a different tech.

Tier1b: "@home, can I get your account information please"

Me: "Um.. I've already been through this. I just need DNS and Gateway settings for a reinstall I just did. I already spent a half hour while another one of your techs tried to install infrared protocols on the computer."

Tier1b: "Thats nice sir. Can I get your account information please"

Me: *gives information*

Tier1b: "Oh... um.. Were you given a ticket number?"

Me: "No I was not"

Tier1b: "Oh. Goo..er.. I mean I dont see your information on the computer."

Me: "The last tech did."

Tier1b: "Do you have your exact account number? It would appear on your cable bill, possibly"

Me: "Just a moment" *Has friend go through papers looking for a bill.* "Would it appear anywhere besides on the bill?"

Tier1b: "Oh.. sorry no. We dont seem to have you in our system sir, sorry."

Me: "Wait a minute, First of all the last tech found the account... Secondly I'm staring at a bloody cable modem that came from you. Also the service worked yesterday. All I want is the bloody DNS and gateway info. Dont you think that its awfully strange that this account doesn't appear in your computer?"

Tier1b: "Oh. Well. They must not have updated these machines yet. I cant help you until they do"

Me: "What? I bloody well think you can help us. He's had his account for 4 months. I think that you can find the info if you really wanted to."

Tier1b: "Hmm. Nope sorry sir. Maybe if you had his 15 digit account number."

Me: "All I want is the DNS and Gateway info."

Tier1b: "Um.. you better call the accounting office, get your account number, and then call back.

Me: "Um... I've already been on hold for 45 minutes today. You think you can transfer me to someone actually willing to help me?"

Tier1b: "45 minutes isn't that long."

*click*

Yes, after making sure I didn't have a ticket number, and then typing in random sounds that may or may not be my friends name, he hung up on me.

My friend called the accounting office (where the hold times rarely exceed 3 minutes) and got his exact account number. Then spent 2 hours with Tier1 before FINALLY being transferred to Tier2.

How long did Tier2 take to solve the problem? Less than 5 fucking minutes. They gave him his DNS and Gateway info, and deleted all the other protocols the other techs had installed (again).

So, a few words of advice:

1) No matter why you're calling, have that goddamn account number.

2) Always ask for a ticket number, especially if you're being transferred.

3) Make sure that you either copy down the DNS info or have the installer actually write it down. Most installers dont care how well they do the install since they are not actually held accountable, and aren't really @home employees.

4) Before getting on the phone, hide all sharp instruments and large, blunt objects. You may otherwise harm yourself, your phone, or your computer.