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Author
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Topic: Did Jehova's Witnesses suddenly turn soft?
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Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 07-02-2001 10:24
   
Jack Chick is a hateful bastard, but I've never been able to find fault with his literal interpretations of scripture as written in any mainstream versions of the bible.If - IF - one were to take the King James Bible as a literal doctrine of what is and is not approved by Jehovah and Jesus (not to mention the literal reality of the above as described therein), Chick would be dead on the money. Luckily, I find myself under no such misapprehensions.  IP: Logged |
Bill
Uber PenIs
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posted 07-02-2001 13:02
Rob Tobias, Keith McNally, and Jack Chick are my spiritual advisers.IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 07-02-2001 13:02
How about Carlos Castaneda?IP: Logged |
BaldGhoti
Member with a member
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posted 07-02-2001 20:42
Rock! I'm a spiritual advisor!Okay, here's how it all works:
The universe was created three seconds ago, because God (an anthropomorphic wombat named Clive) was rather bored. All "memories" you have prior to this are hallucinated. Because God did not create any solid evidence of his existence, he does not want us to believe in him. If you believe in God, you're going to hell. Hell is essentially the same as the hallucination you may remember as "middle school". All of this is pretty well moot, though, because God's going to get bored of the whole thing in exactly pi seconds and destroy the entire universe, so don't get too comfortable. Just believe there's no afterlife, no anthropomorphic wombat named Clive, no hallucinations, and everything will be just fine. ------------------
Reverend Rob IP: Logged |
LaMFear
Dutch Pen - Cock sucking champ of 1999
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posted 07-03-2001 08:06
Reverend Rob,THAT sounds awfully familiar, where's it from? IP: Logged |
Sasquatch
PenIs
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posted 07-03-2001 12:04
On the JW part: Actually, most JW's now claim that the 144,000 heavenly hotel reservations have been filled, and the rest of us have to wait around for the Heaven on Earth phenomena, when the Theocracy will be established and all men will live in peace in vineyards with giant pandas.That last part about the vinyards and pandas comes from the last tract they left me, which showed a bunch of swarthy mediterranian people having a picnic in a vineyard, and a monstrous panda was watching them eat. I think. Perhaps it was stalking them. At which point Heaven on Earth becomes a lot like the Time Machine, replacing the Morlochs with Giant Pandas. IP: Logged |
BaldGhoti
Member with a member
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posted 07-03-2001 13:13
quote:
Originally posted by LaMFear:
Reverend Rob,THAT sounds awfully familiar, where's it from?
Actual idea? That moment in time right before you're about to go to sleep. Style? Douglas Adams-inspired.
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Reverend Rob IP: Logged |
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