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Author
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Topic: I am the Christian Coalition's Worse Enemy
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MrSelfdestruct
Member with a member
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posted 07-09-2001 22:08
   
This weekend, out of sheer boredom, I watched an interesting show about the "Christian" role in the Federal Government. It was at that time that I realized that I am the Coalition's Public Enemy Number One.Here is my reasoning: I am a member of a generation that frankly doesn't care a whole lot about the "Next Coming of Jesus." More interestingly, I am scientist that laughs at any notion that some supreme being created all that is on this earth today. I work for a series of companies that sell "Products of Sin" like beer and cigarettes. My favorite band in the world is Nine Inch Nails, a band that wrote a song called Heresy with a refrain that goes "God is dead, and no one cares. If there is a hell, then I'll see you there." Here is someother reasons that I am so bad:
-Prochoice
-Member of a Non-theistic religion
-I have a sense of humor
-I frequent a site that has the spelling of the male reproductive organ in its name On that note:
-I have been known to "surf for Pr0n"
-I like Pie
-I drive in the state of Wisconsin with plates that expired in 1999 and the most evil of them all...
I can't find my towel. Now, am I all that bad? Am I really a total Medievil Hate Monger? Should I turn myself into the authorities for not following in the path that jesus laid out for us? Or am I just paranoid Internet Hermit? Let me know I am scared ------------------
Consider, if you will, a spherical cow of uniform density IP: Logged |
facade
unregistered
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posted 07-10-2001 00:36
I know I'm going to end up getting crucified for even admitting this here, but I'm a christian. I suck at it, but I am one. I love Nine Inch Nails, I frequent this site, I am pro-choice, and I have a sense of humor. Guess I should be scared too... IP: Logged |
facade
unregistered
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posted 07-10-2001 00:38
OH! I'm heavily into D/s too...IP: Logged |
fenomas
argument nazi
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posted 07-10-2001 02:26
Y'know, Mr.SD, I was considering taking issue with the way these days anyone who's read popular mechanics calls themselves a scientist, until I saw your sig. Good on you sir.What do you get if you cross a grape and an elephant? Elephant-grape-cosine theta. Hah!
What do you get if you cross an elephant and a mountain climber?
You can't, one is a scaler! Double hah! fen IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 07-10-2001 09:45
pah-leeeese. we did cross product jokes in grade 12. that's so passe. us edumecated university folk are much more along the lines of "Suppose your mom is skinny, then there exists a domain her ass fits in. Contratradiction, hence she has a huge ass". Goddamn, I love proof by contradiction. I love them almost as much as i love proofs by induction.
an engineer, and mathematician, and a computer programmer are driving in the car when the car gets a flat tire. the three get out to examine the situation.
the engineer recommends that they change the tire and get on their way.
the mathematician offers a rigourous proof that the tire is flat.
the programmer asks why they dont just drive around the block a few times and hope the tire fixes itself.
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Bitchgoddess
battin' .500
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posted 07-10-2001 12:20
Off-topic, and probably really old, yet funny. As seen on a t-shirt worn by a customer from my old job, who worked for microsoft:I am a programmor
I am a programer
I write code
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That said, piss off IP: Logged |
fenomas
argument nazi
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posted 07-10-2001 17:01
Sure, zip, except that A) that isn't funny, B) it's not a real proof, and C) you read it at www.yourmom.com, which I posted a short time ago.My favorite is a true story: my physics 101 teaching assistant (later to become my boss) was trying to explain something, and he said, "Look- suppose the earth were a perfect sphere of uniform density, and it was resting on an infinite plain of flat frictionless ice, extending to infinity in all directions." Then he paused a moment, and said, perfectly seriously, "No wait, that's a bit contrived." fen IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 07-10-2001 18:22
Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Hardware problem. Can't be done!IP: Logged |
zippy
Member with a member bigger than the member with a member
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posted 07-10-2001 18:56
i openly admit that i got it from yourmom.com, but i thought weis posted that. unless you and that magnificently handsome twin of yours are the SAME person. of course, i could be wrong. i probably am wrong.are you guys telepathically linked? can weis sit at home hitting on a bong and get a telepathic projection from you of a view up a 14 year old japanese girl's skirt? IP: Logged |
Jimbo
1 dr3w j00 4 p1ggy!
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posted 07-10-2001 21:52
That would truly make them a complete entity greater than the sum of its parts, would it not?  IP: Logged |
PeterWiggin
Resident PenIs MC
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posted 07-12-2001 11:44
yall are too fuckin smart.
i love reading this bored.I hate business classes. i Officially feel dumber from taking most of my classes. what do you call a dog with short legs and steel balls? :heh: SParKy.
Peterwierd
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