posted 08-29-2001 10:01            

1)the bigger the truck the smaller the penis
2)the price of his sports car is the the other sure indication of how teeny tiny his package is - and if its a red sports car its a sure bet that he is concave
3)men dont keep any shampoo in the shower because his g/f keeps at least 2 types to choose from and they smell so good that getting bitched at for using all the matrix means nothing at all when you cann bring yourself to full arousal by the smell of your own freakin hair
4)men realize that the definition of a woman is neurotic overweight insecure about the size of her breasts and ass but we love it when you can compensate for that shit with a little false confidence
5)men love a woman that isnt afraid to get her hands dirty every so often
6)men love it when women talk dirty to them - but not too often and the whole daddy thing is just plain creepy
7)catfights are the shit
8)men secretly love seeing a woman cry for two reasons a)because they can cry vicariously through thier woman crying and b)women look so vulnerable and beautiful when they cry that we can feel almost usefull just by being there doing nothing which happens to be what we do best
9)men all have a strange fascination with female bisexuality/lesbianism - except when it involves thier woman
10)men wouldnt be so paranoid about asking for directions if women would just agree with them when they say they arent lost - just look at it as an excellent opportunity to meet new friends
11)pms really stands for pleasant music soothes or something like that babygirl of course i love you your stomach is cramping here let me rub it for ya baby - and if it doesnt stand for that it should you fuckin neanderthal
12)men are comfortable with saying nothing if they have nothing to say they dont need meaningless babble to fill the silent spaces
13)if your mom is a hottie he's been wondering ....
14)if your sister is a hottie he's been wondering...
15)if your best friend is a hottie he's been wondering....
16)if your next door neighbor is a hottie he's been wondering...
17)if your ob/gyn is a hottie he's been wondering...
18)we say we arent jealous but...
19)when you go home , even if we just had hot raw sex , if he's still desperate he'll turn himself out , the whole nine too
he'll wine himself dine himself maybe pinch his nipples till it almost hurts talk dirty to himself and then shit he can set records for the fastest orgasm the time he takes to make himself come is directly related to the time it took you to get him there but i need to conduct a few more experiments to determine the exact formula - we need a volunteer from our studio audience...
20)blowjobs...nuff said
21)men know that you arent going to get every time from just the rod and we know youre going to fake it...and were ok with that and the better you are at faking it the more ok with it we are
22)men dont want just sex we want domesticity also
23)men feel really stupid trying to define everthing about women because as much as we complain about not understanding you we absolutely love discovering new things about you - provided that it doesnt come at the expense of our ego